From To-Do to Success

From To-Do to Success

From To-Do to Success: Harnessing Pareto’s Principle for Real Achievement

Feeling overwhelmed by an ever-growing to-do list is all too common, yet many of us struggle to make substantial progress in our personal and professional lives. This challenge prompted me to seek a more practical approach to managing my tasks, leading me to discover a game-changing strategy outlined in Gary Keller’s influential book, “The ONE Thing.” By applying Pareto’s 80/20 Principle, I’ve transformed my everyday to-dos into a streamlined Success List, focusing on actions that significantly drive my goals, particularly in developing my podcast, “From the Shadow to the Light,” based on my memoir, “Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.”

Embrace the 80/20 Rule

The Pareto Principle posits that 80% of our results come from just 20% of our efforts. This insight suggests that if we can identify and prioritize the most substantial impact efforts, we can optimize our productivity and achieve more with less.

Crafting Your Success List

To apply this principle effectively, start by dividing your tasks into “Coulds” and “Shoulds.” “Coulds” are tasks that are nice to accomplish but not essential. “Shoulds” are those critical tasks that will have a meaningful impact on your success. Migrate your “Shoulds” to your Success List. This focused list should only include activities that align closely with your overarching goals and have the potential to produce significant outcomes.

Focusing on The ONE Thing

From your Success List, identify the ONE thing that, once completed, will make other tasks easier or even unnecessary. It meant dedicating myself to my podcast, “From the Shadow to the Light,” which is a pivotal extension of the themes and personal transformations I explore in my memoir. Each episode delves deep into the chapters of my life, offering listeners insights and reflections on overcoming adversity and finding personal enlightenment.

Invest Intensively in Your Key Task

Once you’ve identified your ONE thing, commit to investing 80% of your time and resources towards this endeavor. This concentrated effort ensures that your primary objective receives the attention it deserves, substantially increasing your chances of success.

Extend Your Impact

Alongside reshaping my workflow, I initiated a free e-book giveaway to engage with you, my audience, on a deeper level. My intention is to foster a safe community for healing. It opens the door for meaningful interactions and potential collaborations, such as interviews with individuals, such as yourself, who resonate with my work and message.

Turning your to-do list into a Success List is more than simply reorganizing tasks—it’s a strategic overhaul prioritizing your most impactful actions. By applying the 80/20 rule and focusing on The ONE Thing, you can transform how you approach work and life, leading to more significant achievements and a more straightforward path to success.

If you’re inspired by these ideas or connect with the journey I describe in my book, “Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light,” I invite you to schedule a Virtual Coffee Chat. Whether it’s exploring potential interviews for my podcast or discussing ways we can collaborate, I’m eager to hear how my story and strategies resonate with you.

Embrace this refined approach to productivity and start your journey from the shadow to the light, where you become empowered to step into your confidence and have peace of mind. You can ask me about creating your personal 7-Step Path to Success on the Coffee Chat or set up a complimentary one-hour Discovery Call, where together, we will design one for you.


Embracing Self-Compassion

Embracing Self-Compassion

Embracing Self-Compassion: A Key to Healing and Confidence

Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools in our journey towards healing and self-confidence. Yet, it’s often a concept we overlook or underestimate.

In my journey towards healing and self-confidence, one of the most profound realizations I’ve had is the incredible power of self-compassion. It’s not just a concept I talk about with clients; it’s something I’ve intimately experienced and integrated into my life.

To me, self-compassion goes beyond simple self-care or positive affirmations. It’s about fundamentally changing how I relate to myself during both the good and challenging times. It’s about treating myself with the same kindness, understanding, and empathy that I would readily offer to a dear friend in times of struggle.

For years, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and a harsh inner critic who constantly berated me for any perceived mistake or shortcoming. It wasn’t until I began to explore the practice of self-compassion that I started to break free from this cycle of self-judgment.

The Importance of Self-Compassion: Research has shown that self-compassion is strongly linked to psychological well-being, resilience, and overall life satisfaction. By practicing self-compassion, we can cultivate inner peace, resilience, and self-assurance, essential qualities on the journey toward healing and self-confidence.

Practical Tips for Cultivating Self-Compassion:

  1. Mindful Self-Compassion Meditation: Set aside a few minutes each day for a mindfulness meditation focused on self-compassion. Begin by bringing awareness to your breath, then gently repeat phrases such as “May I be kind to myself” or “May I forgive myself for any mistakes.” Allow yourself to feel the warmth and kindness of these words permeate your being.
  2. Practice Self-Kindness: Notice when your inner critic arises and gently challenge it with self-kindness. Offer encouragement and understanding instead of criticizing yourself for perceived shortcomings or mistakes. Treat yourself with the same tenderness you would extend to a loved one.
  3. Write a Self-Compassion Letter: Take some time to write a letter to yourself, expressing compassion and understanding for any pain or struggles you’re experiencing. Acknowledge your humanity and offer words of comfort and encouragement. Reading this letter whenever you’re feeling down can be a powerful reminder of your inherent worth and resilience.
  4. Cultivate Mindful Awareness: Practice tuning into your thoughts and emotions with mindful awareness, without judgment or criticism. Notice when self-critical thoughts arise and gently redirect your attention to the present moment. By cultivating this awareness, you can begin to untangle yourself from self-criticism and cultivate greater self-compassion.

Of course, cultivating self-compassion hasn’t always been easy. There are days when my inner critic rears its head, and I find myself slipping back into old patterns of self-judgment. But with practice and patience, I’ve learned to recognize these moments for what they are and respond to myself with greater kindness and understanding.

As I continue my journey towards greater self-compassion, I’m reminded of Brené Brown’s words, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” It’s a simple yet powerful reminder that I am worthy of love, kindness, and compassion.

Incorporating self-compassion into our lives is not always easy, but it is a practice that can profoundly transform our relationship with ourselves and others. Treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and compassion can pave the way for healing, self-confidence, and a more profound sense of fulfillment. As you embark on your journey towards greater self-compassion, remember to be patient and gentle with yourself, for true healing begins from within. Know that you are worthy of love, kindness, and compassion precisely as you are.

Reflective Questions for You:

  • How do you currently relate to yourself during times of struggle or difficulty?
  • What self-compassion practices resonate most with you, and how can you incorporate them into your daily life?
  • What challenges do you anticipate as you cultivate greater self-compassion, and how can you navigate them with kindness and understanding?

Schedule a complimentary Discovery call to learn what’s keeping you from having self-compassion. Together, we’ll create a roadmap for your best next steps.

The Power of Shadow Work

The Power of Shadow Work

The Power of Shadow Work: Embracing Disappointment, Anger, and the Wounded Child Within

In the journey towards self-discovery and personal growth, the shadow is a profound yet often overlooked aspect of our psyche. The concept of shadow work, popularized by renowned psychologist Carl Jung, delves into the depths of our subconscious to unearth hidden truths, unresolved emotions, and unacknowledged aspects of the self. While it may seem daunting to confront the darker corners of our being, embracing this journey can lead to profound transformations, paving the way toward unwavering confidence and inner peace.

Understanding the Shadow

The shadow encompasses those parts of ourselves that we repress, deny, or deem unacceptable. It holds our deepest fears, insecurities, and unresolved traumas, often manifesting as negative emotions like disappointment and anger. For many, including myself, these emotions are intertwined with the wounded child within—the part of us that yearns for validation, love, and acceptance.

Facing Disappointment and Anger Through the Lens of the Wounded Child

Growing up, I struggled with bursts of anger and a sense of entitlement whenever things didn’t go my way. Each time I exploded in a rage or felt a surge of entitlement, I was met with a profound sense of disappointment in myself. I was perpetually at odds with my own emotions, trapped in a cycle of self-sabotage and inner turmoil.

The Healing Power of Shadow Work

It wasn’t until I embarked on the journey of shadow work that I began to unravel the tangled web of emotions beneath the surface. Through introspection and self-reflection, I came face to face with the wounded child within – the part of me that had been neglected, wounded, and left unhealed. As I delved deeper into the recesses of my psyche, I began to understand the root causes behind my anger and entitlement.

Embracing the Wounded Child

Instead of shunning the wounded child within, I embraced them with compassion and empathy. I recognized that my bursts of anger were not a reflection of inherent flaws but rather a cry for love and understanding. By acknowledging the pain and trauma that lay buried within, I took the first steps toward healing and wholeness.

Stepping into Confidence Through Self-Acceptance

As I journeyed through the depths of my shadow, I learned to integrate the wounded child within, embracing them as an integral part of my being. In doing so, I discovered a newfound sense of self-acceptance and authenticity. No longer burdened by shame or self-condemnation, I stepped into my power with confidence and grace.

Finding Peace of Mind in Self-Compassion

Through the healing power of shadow work, I found peace of mind in embracing self-compassion. Instead of criticizing myself for past mistakes or shortcomings, I offered myself the same love and understanding that I so desperately craved as a wounded child. In doing so, I liberated myself from the shackles of self-judgment and embraced a profound inner peace.

The journey of shadow work is not for the faint of heart, but the rewards are immeasurable. We pave the way toward lasting confidence and inner peace by confronting our disappointments, anger, and the wounded child within. Embrace the shadows, for therein lies the key to your most authentic self.

Are you ready to embark on the journey of shadow work? Schedule a complimentary Discovery call to identify your next steps and confidently step into your power.

The path may be challenging, but the destination promises unparalleled growth, confidence, and peace of mind.

Embracing the Wounded Child’s Impact

Embracing the Wounded Child’s Impact


Embracing the Wounded Child’s Impact

The Wounded Child archetype, nestled within the broader spectrum of the Child archetype, carries profound emotional scars from childhood experiences. For me, these wounds are deeply personal, stemming from moments when my mother’s emotional shutdown from the loss of my baby brother, Michael, left me feeling unseen and invalidated. Anger also manifested within me as I unintentionally wasn’t allowed to grieve. I learned to wear masks, such as the Strong one and the People Pleaser, suppressing my emotions to navigate the world, but beneath those layers lay the wounded inner child, yearning to be acknowledged and healed.

The Cycle of Replaying Trauma: Unhealed wounds from childhood replay themselves in adult life until they are addressed and healed. I had a perpetual need for validation; when I wasn’t seen or had my needs met, I erupted in anger. It continued throughout my adult life, having serious repercussions. It’s crucial to recognize that these patterns are not personal but rather ingrained responses to unresolved trauma.

Moving from Shadow to Light: Recognizing and acknowledging the presence of the wounded child archetype is the first step towards healing. Whether feeling misunderstood or reliving past humiliation events, these patterns can be identified and addressed through self-awareness. By shedding light on these shadow aspects, I began the journey of personal evolution and transformation.

Embracing Compassion and Forgiveness: Despite the pain inflicted by the wounded child archetype, it also awakened a deep sense of compassion and empathy within me. Through the process of getting sober, having had a spiritual awakening, and a commitment to being of service, I moved towards forgiveness and healing. This shift from the shadow to the light allowed for greater self-awareness and empowerment.

Recognizing the Wounded Child Within: Do you resonate with the behaviors associated with the wounded child archetype? Signs may include a constant need for validation, blaming others for past wounds, or seeking love and acceptance externally. Identifying these patterns is the first step toward healing and transformation.

The journey from the shadow of the wounded child archetype to the light of healing and transformation is deeply personal and requires courage. By recognizing our personal experiences and integrating compassion and forgiveness, we can embark on profound healing and personal growth. As we move from the caboose to the engine of our lives, we gain the power to direct our path toward a brighter, more empowered future.

To begin the journey of transformation and healing, schedule your complimentary Discovery call now. Together, we’ll create a path for your next best steps. Start your healing journey today!


Navigating New Challenges with Confidence

Navigating New Challenges with Confidence

Navigating New Challenges with Confidence

Embarking on a new venture, whether creating, learning, or venturing into uncharted territories, is an exhilarating but challenging experience. Over the past two weeks, I immersed myself in making the inaugural episode of my podcast, “From the Shadow to the Light.” Amidst disappointments and challenges, I’ve gained invaluable insights on navigating the journey from frustration to confidence. Join me as I share this transformative journey.

Creating something new is lined with challenges, and it’s easy to fall into disappointment and frustration. Yet, as I recently experienced while crafting the first episode of “From the Shadow to the Light,” overcoming these obstacles can lead to a profound sense of accomplishment.

Here’s a guide on navigating the journey, ensuring you emerge with newfound confidence in your ability to conquer any task you set your mind to.

Embrace the Learning Curve: Embarking on a podcasting journey or anything new is stepping into the unknown. Embrace the learning curve, recognizing that every challenge is an opportunity to acquire new skills and knowledge.

Convert Disappointment into Determination: Frustration is inevitable, especially when things don’t go as planned. Instead of dwelling on disappointment, channel that energy into determination. Use setbacks as stepping stones for improvement, acknowledging that growth often arises from overcoming obstacles.

Seek Guidance and Support: Podcasting, like life, is a collaborative effort. When faced with challenges, seek guidance. Reach out to mentors, join communities, or seek online forums where you can share experiences and gather insights. Knowing you’re not alone in your struggles can be a powerful motivator.

Shift Your Perspective on Problems: Problems are not roadblocks; they are opportunities to shift your perspective. When faced with challenges, view them as puzzles to solve rather than insurmountable barriers. This shift in mindset can turn problems into catalysts for creativity.

Break Down the Task: Overwhelm often contributes to the desire to give up. Break down your creation into smaller, more manageable tasks. Celebrate small victories as you go, recognizing that progress is achieved one step at a time.

Learn from Mistakes: Mistakes are not failures but lessons in disguise. Analyze what went wrong, understand the root causes, and use this knowledge to avoid similar pitfalls in the future. Every misstep is an opportunity for growth.

Celebrate Achievements, Big and Small: Amid challenges, take a moment to celebrate achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress fuels a positive mindset and instills confidence that you’re on the right path.

The journey from frustration to confidence is transformative. As I navigated the complexities of crafting my podcast’s first episode, I learned to appreciate the resilience I gained from facing challenges head-on and the importance of shifting my perspective on problems. Remember, with determination and the right mindset, you can overcome any challenge and emerge more confident on the other side.

If you have trouble walking through these steps to get to the other side, schedule your complimentary 1-hour Discovery call for your next best steps and roadmap.

It’s my honor to create a plan with you that leads to a higher version of yourself.

And, if you’d like to listen to “From the Shadow to the Light,” where you can hear firsthand how perseverance led to creating something meaningful, please email me or text 302-229-3446. I’d be delighted to send it to you.

Transforming Disappointment Into Confidence

Transforming Disappointment Into Confidence

Transforming Disappointment Into Confidence

Life often unfolds in unexpected ways. Recently, I found myself facing rejection, a scenario that in the past would have triggered disappointment, frustration, and even anger. Yet, today, as someone with 23 years of sobriety and a trauma-informed coach, I stand here with a shifted perspective – a realization that nothing in life is truly personal. Even in moments that seem like personal attacks, there lies an opportunity for transformation toward confidence and peace of mind.

In the face of disappointment, anger, and frustration, the path to confidence and peace of mind begins with acknowledging these emotions. It’s a crucial step in the journey, allowing us to embrace our feelings without judgment. It is fundamental to the understanding that nothing in life is truly personal—a universal dance we all partake in.

Setting a Positive Intention: Rather than internalizing rejection, set a positive intention for yourself. Envision the person you aspire to become, recognizing that setbacks are not personal affronts but growth opportunities.

Reflecting on Patterns: Exploring behavior patterns unveils insights into how we respond to rejection. Understanding these automatic responses becomes a pivotal shift, reminding us that our reactions are not personal flaws but learned responses.

Mindful Responding: Mastering mindful responding involves stepping back from the impulse to react. Observe thoughts and feelings without taking them personally, choosing responses aligned with your positive intention.

Learning from the Experience: In the grand scheme of life’s tapestry, every experience holds lessons. Question the existing paradigm without internalizing the rejection. What lessons does this experience hold? How can it positively shape your beliefs? Extract wisdom from the situation, acknowledging that the lessons are not criticisms of your worth.

Adopting a Growth Mindset: Experiment with adopting a growth mindset. Picture yourself confidently navigating challenges, recognizing that your ability to overcome setbacks is not a reflection of personal inadequacy but a testament to your resilience.

Embracing Change: Life is an ever-evolving journey, and embracing change is vital to renewal. Form habits aligned with your positive intention, stepping into a confident and peaceful version of yourself, knowing that growth is not a judgment but a natural progression.

The journey through disappointment, anger, and frustration is a transformative dance; in this dance, remember that nothing is personal. Every emotion, setback, and lesson contributes to the beauty of your unique journey. As a coach, I encourage you to view these moments as opportunities for growth, recognizing that in the grand tapestry of life, your worth is never defined by external circumstances. Embrace confidence and peace of mind as natural outcomes of navigating life’s unpredictable twists with the understanding that, in the end, nothing in life is genuinely personal.

Schedule your free Discovery call today to learn how you can transform your disappointment into authentic confidence while knowing that nothing is personal. Take bold action, walk through your fear, and schedule it now.

The rest of your life depends on it—and so does the world!