I’ve been reflecting lately on the intricate balance between fear and confidence. It’s like walking a tightrope, where fear pulls you down on one side, and confidence pulls you up on the other. Let me share a personal journey that has shaped my understanding of this delicate dance.
The Spotlight That Faded: Do you recall a moment when fear seemed to overpower everything? For me, it was during a class play when I was 12. I had the lead role, and everything went smoothly until an unexpected Polaroid flash disrupted the scene. In that split second, I forgot my lines and the humiliation that followed echoed for years, leading me to swear off acting altogether.
Perfection as a Shield: Fast forward to my attempts at creating YouTube videos. Fear had manifested itself as a fear of making mistakes and being exposed to potential ridicule. Every detail had to be flawless, and pursuing perfection became my shield against humiliation.
Breaking Free: This past February marked a turning point. I realized it was time to break free from the shackles of fear. Reflecting on past failures, I discovered strength in vulnerability. To build confidence, I had to confront my fear head-on. Before each step, I asked myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” The answer was dramatic — I could die. Yet, this realization underscored the insignificance of my fears in the grand scheme.
The Stumble and Rise: Confidence isn’t a smooth journey; it’s a series of stumbles and falls. Each setback became an opportunity to discover an inner strength that refused to be defined by failure. It’s a reminder that setbacks are not roadblocks but stepping stones in the journey to self-discovery.
What’s Your Fear? Let’s Talk: I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your own fears. What’s holding you back?Start NOW by taking bold action. Schedule a “What’s Next for Me?” call today. Together, we’ll create the roadmap to navigate the tightrope between fear and confidence.
Walking the Tightrope: Building confidence isn’t a linear path. It’s about taking risks, facing fears, and discovering your innate capabilities. When you walk that tightrope between fear and confidence, be real, celebrate small wins, and find victory in having the courage to take those uncertain steps. You won’t be alone.
Your Fear Doesn’t Define You: It’s crucial to remember that your fears do not define you; you are defined by your ability to face them. Embrace the journey, learn from each stumble, and celebrate the triumphs of overcoming fear.
Here’s to walking through fear, celebrating victories, and embracing the incredible journey of self-discovery. Connect with me on LinkedIn and Facebook for more reflections on the courage to face uncertainty.
We all have archetypes—universal patterns of mythical power— within our psyche, and the Saboteur archetype may be the most difficult to understand because its name is associated with betrayal. Caroline Myss calls it the Guardian of Choice because its purpose is to help you identify when you are about to make a decision that weakens you.
When an opportunity arises that helps you grow by stretching your comfort zone, have you ever heard a whispering voice beneath you that says, “You’re not good enough. You’ll never make that achievement?” If you have, what you’re hearing is the internal Saboteur raising the possibility of failure, which is a decidedly fearsome prospect.
Another example is when you fear success. You call upon the Saboteur to destroy the foundation of that success because the responsibility seems overwhelming: What if I let people down? What if I’m not able to sustain the position?
The Saboteur operates in the shadows of our subconscious.
HOW TO BECOME AWARE OF THE SABOTEUR
The Saboteur’s fears and issues are all related to low self-esteem that causes you to make choices that block your empowerment and success.
The Saboteur’s core issue is fear of initiating change into your life, change that rearranges your entire reality and requires you to respond in a positive way to opportunities that shape and deepen your self-esteem and empowerment. Ignore it, and the shadow Saboteur will manifest in the form of destructive behavior or the desire to undermine others.
It typically makes its presence known through a feeling or a thought that is rooted in fear. It may be a feeling of anxiety, doubt, of looking stupid, lack of confidence, or being afraid of failing. The Saboteur can guard your heart and push away any people or opportunities that bring you joy or success.
Only when we become aware of the Saboteur and recognize it can we make it our ally. The first way you can explore the shadow aspect of the Saboteur is to observe your behavior. You can effectively do this by creating a journal where you recorded the times or events when you realized you’d sabotaged yourself.
The keyword here is OBSERVE. The Saboteur needs to be recognized for it to be integrated.
You don’t want to analyze. You want to observe, and through the power of observation, you will garner the capacity to see things from a higher perspective, which will lead to positive behavioral change.
QUESTIONS TO ASK OF YOURSELF
Acknowledging the Saboteur requires us to take responsibility as we must look at our failures and missed opportunities and find how we contributed to the situation. A few questions to ask yourself to learn how to become aware of the action of the Saboteur within are:
In what areas of my life do I fear change?
What fears have the most authority over me? List three.
How have I thwarted my success in the past?
What am I protecting myself or someone else from by sabotaging my success?
What happens when fear overtakes me? Does it make me silent?
Have I let creative opportunities pass me by?
How conscious am I in the moment that I am sabotaging myself?
When we make the Saboteur our friend and ally, we can then make decisions based on our highest purpose in life, as we stand firm in our center with unwavering self-esteem rather than giving in to our fears egos.
