by | Oct 8, 2018

5 Things to Remember When Life is NOT Going Your Way

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai-Lama

How do you respond when it seems life is going against you? Do you get angry, depressed, or feel life isn’t fair? Well, if you chose the latter, you are correct—life ISN’T fair!

Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you find yourself in turbulent or stressful times.

1.  You cannot control anything other than yourself.

When you find yourself in times of trouble, the Serenity Prayer is most helpful. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Acceptance plays a crucial part here. You may not like the situation you are currently in, but accepting it makes it a little easier to go through.

Knowing you’re where you’re supposed to be—whether it’s to learn a lesson or humble your ego—causes you to pause and reflect on the situation in which you find yourself.

2. Don’t get emotionally attached to your desires.

When one door closes, another one opens. If you attach yourself to a desired outcome, you can become bitter and resentful when it doesn’t happen. There’s no point in hanging onto what could’ve been.

With an open heart and mind, you can genuinely allow new and different experiences into your life.  You never know, it could be a wonderful stroke of luck!

3. If you want to change something, start by changing yourself.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~ Rumi

If you want to change your outcomes, you must first change what you are doing, and that includes changing yourself. Keep in mind the saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” 

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

4. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

Whether you think the reason why life’s not going your way is your fault or not, you must be kind to yourself. When you find that you’re beating yourself up, put down the baseball bat and pick up a feather!

Creating a life of purpose doesn’t always come easily, but it must come from a place of love. Loving yourself first leads to actions that come from the heart where you see clearly, feel strong, and know you make good choices.

5. This too shall pass.

By learning to embrace the impermanence of things you can become more resilient when you encounter unpleasant experiences. When you let go of judging the situations you find yourself in—disappointing, resentful, sad—you will realize everything in life is temporary.

When you say these words to yourself, you also learn to accept, and not to resist, whatever you may be facing in life.

At a deeper level, if you can realize that life is impermanent, the better off you will be. Letting go of the struggle to control the outcome and allowing it to happen—just as it is—makes life easier.

So the next time things don’t go your way, remind yourself of these things and “this too shall pass.” Use it as a mantra. You will find your circumstances, or at least parts of them, will change fairly quickly.



Debbie Gill - author and coach

Debbie gill

The heart and soul behind Go Within Spiritual Coaching.