Unraveling the Eight Saboteurs Within Positive Intelligence®
Have you wondered what stopped you from being the best you?
Well, I have, and after some deep inner shadow work, I was ready to face them head-on. Around that time, I was introduced to what you now know as Positive Intelligence® or PQ®. The program has deeply influenced my path to personal growth and fulfillment. I shared last week about the Judge’s characteristics, justification lies, and the impact on you. Now I want to explore the eight secondary Saboteurs that hinder our growth and development and that we all have to some degree.
Positive Intelligence®, developed by Shirzad Chamine, a prominent positive psychology researcher and Stanford lecturer, equips us with tools to identify and overcome self-sabotaging tendencies, ultimately leading to greater success and happiness.
We often struggle with internal conflicts, self-doubt, and negative emotions in this fast-paced world. The eight Saboteurs we’ll explore today can operate subconsciously, guiding our actions and reactions. Recognizing and understanding them is the first step toward confidence, peak performance, and lasting peace of mind. Only with awareness can change occur.
Let’s meet these eight Saboteurs and see which ones you can identify with before you take the test:
The Stickler: Perfectionism is the root of the Stickler’s power. It constantly demands high standards, leaving no room for mistakes or experimentation, which leaves you constantly disappointed and frustrated. It may leave you with suppressed anger, anxiety, and difficulty dealing with change.
The Pleaser: Afraid of rejection and seeking external validation, the Pleaser will go to great lengths to please others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires. It can cause resentment when others don’t notice what you’ve done for them.
The Hyper-Achiever: While ambition can be a positive trait, the Hyper-Achiever pushes you relentlessly, causing stress and burnout as you chase never-ending goals. It is competitive and goal-oriented, with feelings and emotions pushed aside. There is fleeting peace of mind and happiness.
The Victim: When faced with challenges, the Victim falls into a helpless state, feeling powerless and overwhelmed. It uses negativity to garner attention and always has problems that no one understands. Terrible things always happen to you—poor me.
The Hyper-Vigilant: Constantly looking for potential dangers, the Hyper-Vigilant creates anxiety and makes you prone to overreacting. It is suspicious of other people’s motives and always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The Restless: Always seeking the next exciting thing prevents us from thoroughly enjoying the present and leads to a lack of contentment. It is easily distracted and can get too scattered (many with ADHA have this Saboteur). It is impatient and has FOMO and Shiney Ball Syndrome.
The Avoider: Fearful of facing difficult emotions or situations, the Avoider encourages you to escape or distract yourself rather than confronting challenges head-on. It avoids conflict to spare others’ feelings and be the peacemaker by saying yes to things it doesn’t want and giving them their way.
The Hyper-Rational: Overly relying on logic and dismissing emotions, the Hyper-Rational is disconnected from their feelings and intuition. It feels that needs and emotions distract from projects, where intense focus on the rational mind and knowledge are essential. It can be seen as cold, distant, and intellectually arrogant.
(To determine your top two, take the Discover Your Saboteursassessment. I was surprised that four of mine were closely rated.)
We may identify with several of these Saboteurs to varying degrees. By shedding light on these inner adversaries, we open ourselves to a world of self-awareness and personal transformation. But how do we harness the power of Positive Intelligence® and free ourselves from these sabotaging influences? The following seven practices are things you can do now to help.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Confront your inner critic and replace negative self-talk with empowering and affirming thoughts.
Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating the positives in your life, no matter how small.
Embrace Emotional Awareness: Practice mindfulness to connect with your emotions and understand their underlying causes.
Set Realistic Goals: Shift your focus from perfectionism to progress. Set achievable and meaningful goals that allow for growth and learning.
Develop Empathy: Extend empathy towards yourself and others, understanding that everyone faces their own battles and insecurities.
Embrace Change: View uncertainty and change as opportunities for growth rather than threats.
But there is an easier way to have a lasting transformation where your brain’s neural pathways are re-wired, and the Saboteur that sits on your shoulder or is a voice inside your head is quieted. I shared the program in an earlier email, but if you missed it, here it is again:
The PQ® Program
6-week program
1-hour weekly video
15-minutes/day practice on the app
Downloadable PDF of the book Positive Intelligence®; read eight chapters
Weekly Community Pod meeting
You can get a few friends, family members, or colleagues together and receive a discount for the program. It’s guaranteed results, and if you do the work, attend the Pod meetings, watch the videos, and read the book, and you aren’t satisfied, you’ll receive a 100% refund, guaranteed.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with PQ®, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment with complete confidence and peace of mind where you have the capacity to respond to all of life’s challenges with a positive mindset.
Until next time, be well and be the best you can be!
As I continue my self-discovery and personal growth journey, I’ve encountered a formidable adversary within myself through the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program—the Judge. This inner critic, lurking in the shadows, has been a constant obstacle on my path to positivity and fulfillment. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experience of understanding the Judge as I learned from PQ PQ®—the description, characteristics, thoughts, feelings, justification lies, and the impact it has had on my life.
Description of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is that persistent voice inside me, always ready to find faults and weaknesses in myself, others, and circumstances. It resides in my subconscious, seemingly waiting for the perfect moment to undermine my confidence. The Judge is the cause of disappointment, anger, regret, and more, and it thrives on negativity, making it challenging to break free from its grip.
Characteristics of the Judge inPositive Intelligence®
I’ve noticed some distinct traits of the Judge that have affected me deeply:
Self: No matter how well I perform, the Judge badgers me for past mistakes or current shortcomings, leaving me feeling inadequate and demoralized.
Others: The Judge focuses on what is wrong with other people rather than appreciating them. It goes into inferior and superior comparisons.
Circumstances: No matter the circumstance or outcome, the Judge insists it is “bad” rather than seeing it as a gift or opportunity.
Thoughts and Feelings Associated with the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The thoughts and feelings arising from the Judge’s constant criticism have been emotionally draining:
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?
All my guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment are from the Judge.
Much of my anger and anxiety are instigated by the
Justification Lies of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is skilled at justifying its negativity through cunning lies:
“Being realistic“: It disguises pessimism as realism, making me believe its judgments are objective assessments.
“Constant improvement“: While growth is essential, the Judge takes it to an extreme, making me feel like I can never be good enough as I am.
“Fear of others’ judgment“: This Judge preys on my fear of criticism, pushing me towards an unattainable ideal to avoid others’ disapproval.
Impact on Myself and Others
The influence of the Judge extends beyond my inner world, affecting my relationships and interactions with others:
Negativity and toxicity: Constantly battling my inner critic has sometimes made me less understanding and supportive of others, inadvertently creating a hostile atmosphere.
Comparison and envy: The comparative nature of the Judge has led me to envy others’ achievements instead of genuinely celebrating their success.
Difficulty forming connections: Struggling with self-judgment has sometimes made creating authentic connections with others challenging.
My encounter with the Judge in Positive Intelligence® has been a challenging but eye-opening journey. Recognizing its characteristics, thoughts, and impact on myself and others empowered me to confront it. Through the Positive Intelligence® Program and self-compassion, I’m learning to challenge the Judge’s authority and embrace self-acceptance. While overcoming this inner critic is ongoing, I’m committed to progressing one step at a time. Embracing my imperfections and cultivating a healthier mindset, I aim to emerge stronger and kinder to myself and those around me.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with PQ®, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment. Here’s to a life filled with positivity, joy, and a healthier relationship with yourself and others!
Embracing Positivity: My Journey with the Program Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program
Hello, wonderful readers! Today, I am excited to share my personal journey with the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program and how it has transformed my life for the better. Life is full of ups and downs, and we all face challenges that sometimes overwhelm us. However, with the help of PQ®, I’ve discovered a powerful tool to build mental resilience, overcome obstacles, and cultivate a positive outlook on life. Let’s dive into the incredible benefits of this transformative program.
Understanding Positive Intelligence® (PQ®)
The Positive Intelligence Program®, designed by Shirzad Chamine, is a revolutionary approach to personal development that focuses on strengthening our mental fitness and inner capacity for positivity. PQ® is rooted in neuroscience and psychology, utilizing a blend of positive psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy, and mindfulness techniques to help individuals shift their mindset and achieve greater happiness and success.
Identifying Saboteurs – Hyper-Achiever and Restless
During my journey with the PQ® Program, I came to recognize my top two Saboteurs – the Hyper-Achiever and the Restless. The Hyper-Achiever always pushed me to do more, setting impossibly high standards and leaving me feeling stressed and inadequate. On the other hand, the Restless Saboteur made it challenging to be present and enjoy the moment, constantly urging me to move on to the next task or goal without appreciating my accomplishments.
The PQ® Program introduced me to the concept of the “Sage,” the inner wisdom that promotes clarity, empathy, curiosity, and creativity. Recognizing my Hyper-Achiever and RestlessSaboteurs allowed me to embrace my Sage more effectively. With my Sage, I’ve learned to balance ambition and self-care, setting realistic goals and celebrating my achievements.
Strengthening Mental Resilience
I’ve developed a greater sense of mental resilience by addressing my Hyper-Achiever and Restless Saboteurs. Instead of being driven solely by the need to achieve, I now understand the importance of rest and rejuvenation. This shift in mindset has helped me bounce back from setbacks more effectively and approach challenges with a healthier perspective.
Improved Relationships
As I began understanding and managing my Saboteurs, I noticed a positive impact on my relationships. I became more compassionate and understanding by recognizing when my Hyper-Achiever was putting too much pressure on myself or others. Similarly, taming the Restless Saboteur allowed me to be more present and attentive in my interactions, leading to deeper connections with those around me.
Enhanced Focus and Productivity
Addressing my top Saboteurs has also improved my focus and productivity. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by an unending to-do list driven by my Hyper-Achiever, I now prioritize tasks mindfully and stay present while working on them. This mindfulness has reduced distractions and boosted my overall productivity.
Greater Happiness and Fulfillment
The PQ® Program taught me to appreciate each moment and enjoy small accomplishments and significant milestones. My newfound ability to manage my Saboteurs and embrace my Sage has led to greater happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of my life.
My experience with the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program has been transformative. By identifying and addressing my top Saboteurs, the Hyper-Achiever and the Restless, I’ve unlocked a newfound self-awareness, personal growth, and positivity. Suppose you’re seeking a way to break free from negativity, enhance your mental fitness, and embrace a more positive and fulfilling life. In that case, I highly recommend trying the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program.
What is the PQ® Program?
The PQ® Program
6-week program
1-hour weekly video
15-minutes/day practice on the app
Downloadable PDF of the book Positive Intelligence®; read eight chapters
Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with PQ®, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment. Here’s to a life filled with positivity, joy, and a healthier relationship with yourself and others!
Freedom From Wearing Masks: Embracing Imperfections for Personal Growth
Today, I want to share with you a journey of mine—shedding the mask of perfection. For years, I projected an image of flawlessness, believing it would bring me happiness and acceptance. However, I discovered that it led me to exhaustion and to be less authentic. In this blog post, I will explore the freedom of taking off the mask of perfection and share my experience of uncovering other masks people may be wearing.
Embracing Imperfections: A Path to Self-Acceptance
When I finally gathered the courage to remove the perfection mask I wore, I had a profound transformation. I began to embrace my imperfections, realizing they make me unique and relatable. It was liberating when I acknowledged and accepted my flaws, freeing myself from the pressure to meet unrealistic standards. Through self-acceptance, I learned to love myself unconditionally.
Building Authentic Connections
Wearing the perfectionist mask created a barrier between myself and others. It was challenging to form genuine connections when I always showed an idealized version of myself. However, as I started to peel off the mask, I became authentic in my relationships. Being vulnerable and sharing my struggles created space for deeper connections with others. As I embraced my imperfections, I encouraged those around me to do the same, cultivating a sense of understanding, empathy, and trust that made my relationships richer.
Cultivating Personal Growth and Resilience
The mask of perfection also stifled my growth; I was afraid of taking risks and making mistakes. But when I let go of this mask, a world of possibilities opened up to me. Once I accepted my imperfections, I could leave my comfort zone and learn from my failures. It was through these experiences that I truly grew and became resilient. I discovered my strengths, learned valuable lessons, and became better equipped to navigate life’s challenges.
Unveiling Other Masks People May Be Wearing:
The Mask of Overachievement: Some people constantly strive for success and perfection in various aspects of life, often at the expense of their well-being and genuine fulfillment.
The Mask of People-Pleasing: Many individuals suppress their own needs and desires, seeking the approval and validation of others, which often leads to a loss of their identity.
The Mask of Self-Criticism: Some individuals wear this mask, berating themselves with relentless self-criticism, setting impossibly high standards, and punishing themselves for perceived failures or shortcomings.
The Mask of Control: Some fear vulnerability and uncertainty, seeking to control every aspect of their lives to avoid potential disappointment or chaos.
The Mask of Invulnerability: Some individuals project an image of strength and resilience, denying or suppressing their emotions to appear impervious to pain or vulnerabilityThe Mask of Indifference: Some individuals hide behind a facade of apathy and detachment, burying their emotions and avoiding vulnerability as a way to protect themselves from potential hurt or rejection.The Mask of Busyness: Many people use busyness as a mask, constantly filling their schedules and appearing occupied to avoid deeper introspection or confronting personal issues.
Additional masks people may wear are:
The Mask of Perpetual Positivity: Some individuals wear a mask of constant cheerfulness and optimism, even when facing difficulties or challenges, to avoid acknowledging and dealing with negative emotions.
The Mask of Intellectualism: This mask involves presenting oneself as highly intellectual or knowledgeable to gain validation and maintain a sense of superiority over others
The Mask of Humor: Some individuals use humor as a defense mechanism, using jokes and laughter to deflect from deeper emotions or personal insecurities
The Mask of Invisibility: Certain individuals intentionally fade into the background, minimizing their presence and opinions, in an attempt to avoid conflict or draw attention to themselves
The Mask of Conformity: Many people wear a mask of conformity, conforming to societal norms and expectations to fit in and avoid judgment or criticism
The Mask of Stoicism: Some individuals suppress their emotions and present a stoic demeanor, believing that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness
The Mask of Coolness: This mask involves projecting an image of being effortlessly cool, detached, and unfazed by external circumstances, even when experiencing inner turmoil or insecurity
Remember, these masks are not exhaustive, and individuals may wear combinations of different masks depending on the situation or their personal experiences. The journey of self-discovery involves identifying and shedding these masks to embrace our authentic selves.
In my journey of shedding the mask of perfection, I discovered the immense power of embracing imperfections. We can cultivate self-acceptance, forge authentic connections, and foster personal growth and resilience by embracing our flaws. Let’s work to remove these masks because when we embrace our true selves, we find genuine joy, fulfillment, and a deeper connection with others. Remember, it is in our imperfections that we shine the brightest.
To learn more about removing the masks you may be wearing so you can step into your confident self, schedule your free Discovery call today.
In a world that often glorifies saying “yes” to everything, it’s easy to overlook the power and freedom in the word “no.” The ability to say no is a skill that empowers us to prioritize our well-being, establish boundaries, and lead a more authentic and fulfilling life. In this blog post, we will explore five significant benefits of embracing the freedom of saying no.
Honoring Your Priorities: Saying no allows you to honor your priorities and focus on what truly matters to you. By carefully selecting the commitments you undertake, you ensure that your time, energy, and resources are dedicated to activities aligned with your values and goals. Whether it’s declining social invitations to make space for personal projects or turning down additional work to maintain a work-life balance, saying no enables you to invest in the things that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Establishing Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-care. By saying no, you set clear limits on what you are willing to accept, thereby protecting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Saying no when necessary cultivate self-respect and communicates to others that your boundaries are to be honored. This not only fosters healthier connections but also reduces stress and prevents burnout.
Preserving Energy and Avoiding Overcommitment: We all have limited time and energy reserves. Saying no helps conserve these precious resources by preventing overcommitment. When we say yes to every request that comes our way, we spread ourselves too thin, leaving little room for self-care and personal growth. By selectively choosing where we invest our energy, we ensure that we have the necessary reserves to tackle our priorities and enjoy a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Cultivating Authenticity and Assertiveness: Saying no authentically reflects who we are and what we genuinely desire. It allows us to embrace our true selves and stand up for our needs and values. We develop a sense of self-worth and confidence by asserting ourselves and expressing our boundaries. The more we practice saying no, the better we communicate our thoughts, feelings, and desires, leading to more genuine and fulfilling relationships.
Embracing Self-Care and Well-Being: Saying no is an act of self-care. It’s about recognizing and honoring our limits and taking responsibility for our well-being. By declining commitments that drain us or don’t align with our values, we create space for activities that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Whether dedicating time for rest, engaging in hobbies, or pursuing personal growth, saying no enables us to prioritize our well-being and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.
The freedom of saying no is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-care. By embracing this freedom, we honor our priorities, establish boundaries, preserve our energy, cultivate authenticity, and prioritize our well-being. It allows us to live a more intentional and fulfilling life, where our choices are aligned with our values and contribute to our overall happiness and success. So, let us remember that saying nois not a sign of weakness but a declaration of self-worth and a path to a more empowered and purposeful existence.
Until next time, be well and start saying no,
Debbie
If you have an issue with constantly saying “yes,” schedule your complimentary Discovery call to see how you can create a roadmap to freely and confidently say “no.”
