Reading this book drew me into the life of Debbie Gill for the duration, and awakened some deeper insights into my own life and history as well. Joining the author on her journey through alcoholism and a succession of dysfunctional relationships is grueling, yet it was hard to put the book down. Hitting rock bottom, surrender, and the dawning of the light are stages that many of us can relate to poignantly in our own lives, in diverse ways. A challenging but profoundly life-affirming and inspirational read.
I have been lucky enough not to have someone close to me diagnosed with addiction. This book provides an intimate portrayal of what that disease is like for the victim. The author’s description of her first encounter with a mind-altering substance as a child as well as her experiences as a teenager is enlightening. She also provides insight into what recovery entails. One must not only stop drinking ( a dry drunk), one must also examine the triggers that caused the addictive behavior in the first place. The author seems to have successfully accomplished all of this, although her path is at times painful to read. I am sure everyone’s recovery is unique and I admire the author for overcoming her challenges and then putting pen to paper so the rest of us can learn from her particular experience.
I also grew up in this time in Wilmington, DE! This book hit me very close to home for me, personally. The 70’s were “free love, rock & roll” party! Debbie absolutely portrayed the struggle, bad decisions, regret of choices, as these years, decades played out in our real lives! Thank You for such an inspiring lift of my personal “bad choices, despair, and heartfelt emotions” came roaring back in my memories. It’s a wonderful read. I finished it over a weekend, mesmerized by each page.
Are you living a life that has meaning and purpose or are you just surviving?Do you go through all the motions yet find something is missing? Maybe you’re gradually becoming aware that the things you are doing aren’t working for you and your present reality reflects that.
In other words, you realize the beliefs you learned and agreed to early on in life are limiting you.
What can you do to change old patterns?
Although unlearning old patterns is a simple process, it’s not easy. As a child, your beliefs are shaped by your family, schooling, religion, and culture, and because you have nothing to compare them with you accept them as true. The more examples you were shown of something, the more it became reinforced in your mind and the stronger it became.
Your belief becomes your truth.
Each belief of how you should think, behave, and see things, had been downloaded into your psyche, leaving you with an energetic imprint on the world behind your eye where there is a parallel reality—the unseen world. These are the dynamic structures that create truth in your outer world.
Where to start?
Since the two worlds coexist, meaning one cannot exist without the other, the beliefs that no longer serve you create a life that is disharmonious and out of balance. You need to be clear about your limiting beliefs as you can only change what you acknowledge.
Change and growth are inevitable, and the more we align ourselves with this truth, the easier our lives will be.
Becoming aware
The first step to awakening from your programmed life is to become aware of the authority your ingrained beliefs have on you and what you want to change in your current reality. Ask yourself where you
may be stuck, what is holding you back, or what habits need to be modified. The best way to do this is to start a journal and write your reflections down.
Words make it real
Play detective and follow your thoughts and emotions to discover the beliefs that are limiting you. The simple act of writing it down keeps it still long enough for you to get a good look at it. Once it’s in front of you, you can determine if it something you want to change.
For example, you want to take an art or photography course, but you believe, “I don’t have enough time.”
Or you know you need to exercise, but you believe, “I have no energy.”
Acknowledge that these are beliefs, not truths!
Truths are universal and have been proven to be true.
Gravity works on earth. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The earth is round. We don’t need to validate them beyond that.
Beliefs, on the other hand, are personal, selective, and changeable. The stories we tell about ourselves, others, and the world come from beliefs.
The source of our values, beliefs, and behaviors
Keep in mind that usually, the concern you are dealing with is not new, but an unresolved one leftover from childhood where you accepted the points of view from those around you. These points of view created your beliefs of what appears to be true to you—positive or negative. Being told you are lovable and worthy has a positive result while being told your opinion doesn’t matter has an adverse one.
These beliefs become your truth because you look for and find evidence to support it.
The beliefs we hold and live by, define our values, and it’s our values that govern the way we behave, communicate and interact with others.
Awakening from a programmed life is about examining and transforming the energy of our beliefs so that they create positive and life-affirming values that result in behavioral changes impacting life physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
AWAKENING FROM A PROGRAMMED LIFE – PART II will provide the steps you can take to begin changing your beliefs from limiting ones to those that empower you.
5 Things to Remember When Life is NOT Going Your Way
“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai-Lama
How do you respond when it seems life is going against you? Do you get angry, depressed, or feel life isn’t fair? Well, if you chose the latter, you are correct—life ISN’T fair!
Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you find yourself in turbulent or stressful times.
1. You cannot control anything other than yourself.
When you find yourself in times of trouble, the Serenity Prayer is most helpful. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Acceptance plays a crucial part here. You may not like the situation you are currently in, but accepting it makes it a little easier to go through.
Knowing you’re where you’re supposed to be—whether it’s to learn a lesson or humble your ego—causes you to pause and reflect on the situation in which you find yourself.
2. Don’t get emotionally attached to your desires.
When one door closes, another one opens. If you attach yourself to a desired outcome, you can become bitter and resentful when it doesn’t happen. There’s no point in hanging onto what could’ve been.
With an open heart and mind, you can genuinely allow new and different experiences into your life. You never know, it could be a wonderful stroke of luck!
3. If you want to change something, start by changing yourself.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~ Rumi
If you want to change your outcomes, you must first change what you are doing, and that includes changing yourself. Keep in mind the saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
4. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Whether you think the reason why life’s not going your way is your fault or not, you must be kind to yourself. When you find that you’re beating yourself up, put down the baseball bat and pick up a feather!
Creating a life of purpose doesn’t always come easily, but it must come from a place of love. Loving yourself first leads to actions that come from the heart where you see clearly, feel strong, and know you make good choices.
5. This too shall pass.
By learning to embrace the impermanence of things you can become more resilient when you encounter unpleasant experiences. When you let go of judging the situations you find yourself in—disappointing, resentful, sad—you will realize everything in life is temporary.
When you say these words to yourself, you also learn to accept, and not to resist, whatever you may be facing in life.
At a deeper level, if you can realize that life is impermanent, the better off you will be. Letting go of the struggle to control the outcome and allowing it to happen—just as it is—makes life easier.
So the next time things don’t go your way, remind yourself of these things and “this too shall pass.”Use it as a mantra. You will find your circumstances, or at least parts of them, will change fairly quickly.
