Unraveling the Eight Inner Saboteurs Within Positive Intelligence®
Have you wondered what stopped you from being the best you?
Well, I have, and after some deep inner shadow work, I was ready to face them head-on. Around that time, I was introduced to what you now know as Positive Intelligence® or PQ®. The program has deeply influenced my path to personal growth and fulfillment. I shared last week about the Judge’s characteristics, justification lies, and the impact on you. Now I want to explore the eight secondary inner Saboteurs that hinder our growth and development and that we all have to some degree.
Positive Intelligence®, developed by Shirzad Chamine, a prominent positive psychology researcher and Stanford lecturer, equips us with tools to identify and overcome self-sabotaging tendencies, ultimately leading to greater success and happiness.
We often struggle with internal conflicts, self-doubt, and negative emotions in this fast-paced world. The eight inner Saboteurs we’ll explore today can operate subconsciously, guiding our actions and reactions. Recognizing and understanding them is the first step toward confidence, peak performance, and lasting peace of mind. Only with awareness can change occur.
Let’s meet these eight inner Saboteurs and see which ones you can identify with before you take the test:
The Stickler: Perfectionism is the root of the Stickler’s power. It constantly demands high standards, leaving no room for mistakes or experimentation, which leaves you constantly disappointed and frustrated. It may leave you with suppressed anger, anxiety, and difficulty dealing with change.
The Pleaser: Afraid of rejection and seeking external validation, the Pleaser will go to great lengths to please others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires. It can cause resentment when others don’t notice what you’ve done for them.
The Hyper-Achiever: While ambition can be a positive trait, the Hyper-Achiever pushes you relentlessly, causing stress and burnout as you chase never-ending goals. It is competitive and goal-oriented, with feelings and emotions pushed aside. There is fleeting peace of mind and happiness.
The Victim: When faced with challenges, the Victim falls into a helpless state, feeling powerless and overwhelmed. It uses negativity to garner attention and always has problems that no one understands. Terrible things always happen to you—poor me.
The Hyper-Vigilant: Constantly looking for potential dangers, the Hyper-Vigilant creates anxiety and makes you prone to overreacting. It is suspicious of other people’s motives and always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The Restless: Always seeking the next exciting thing prevents us from thoroughly enjoying the present and leads to a lack of contentment. It is easily distracted and can get too scattered (many with ADHA have this Saboteur). It is impatient and has FOMO and Shiney Ball Syndrome.
The Avoider: Fearful of facing difficult emotions or situations, the Avoider encourages you to escape or distract yourself rather than confronting challenges head-on. It avoids conflict to spare others’ feelings and be the peacemaker by saying yes to things it doesn’t want and giving them their way.
The Hyper-Rational: Overly relying on logic and dismissing emotions, the Hyper-Rational is disconnected from their feelings and intuition. It feels that needs and emotions distract from projects, where intense focus on the rational mind and knowledge are essential. It can be seen as cold, distant, and intellectually arrogant.
(To determine your top two, take the Discover Your Saboteursassessment. I was surprised that four of mine were closely rated.)
We may identify with several of these inner Saboteurs to varying degrees. By shedding light on these inner adversaries, we open ourselves to a world of self-awareness and personal transformation. But how do we harness the power of Positive Intelligence® and free ourselves from these sabotaging influences? The following seven practices are things you can do now to help.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Confront your inner critic and replace negative self-talk with empowering and affirming thoughts.
Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating the positives in your life, no matter how small.
Embrace Emotional Awareness: Practice mindfulness to connect with your emotions and understand their underlying causes.
Set Realistic Goals: Shift your focus from perfectionism to progress. Set achievable and meaningful goals that allow for growth and learning.
Develop Empathy: Extend empathy towards yourself and others, understanding that everyone faces their own battles and insecurities.
Embrace Change: View uncertainty and change as opportunities for growth rather than threats.
But there is an easier way to have a lasting transformation where your brain’s neural pathways are re-wired, and the inner Saboteur that sits on your shoulder or is a voice inside your head is quieted. I shared the program in an earlier email, but if you missed it, here it is again:
The PQ® Program
6-week program
1-hour weekly video
15-minutes/day practice on the app
Downloadable PDF of the book Positive Intelligence®; read eight chapters
Weekly Community Pod meeting
You can get a few friends, family members, or colleagues together and receive a discount for the program. It’s guaranteed results, and if you do the work, attend the Pod meetings, watch the videos, and read the book, and you aren’t satisfied, you’ll receive a 100% refund, guaranteed.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with my Positive Intelligence Coaching program, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment with complete confidence and peace of mind where you have the capacity to respond to all of life’s challenges with a positive mindset.
Until next time, be well and be the best you can be!
As I continue my self-discovery and personal growth journey, I’ve encountered a formidable adversary within myself through the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program—the Judge. This inner critic, lurking in the shadows, has been a constant obstacle on my path to positivity and fulfillment. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experience of understanding the Judge as I learned from PQ PQ®—the description, characteristics, thoughts, feelings, justification lies, and the impact it has had on my life.
Description of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is that persistent voice inside me, always ready to find faults and weaknesses in myself, others, and circumstances. It resides in my subconscious, seemingly waiting for the perfect moment to undermine my confidence. The Judge is the cause of disappointment, anger, regret, and more, and it thrives on negativity, making it challenging to break free from its grip.
Characteristics of the Judge inPositive Intelligence®
I’ve noticed some distinct traits of the Judge that have affected me deeply:
Self: No matter how well I perform, the Judge badgers me for past mistakes or current shortcomings, leaving me feeling inadequate and demoralized.
Others: The Judge focuses on what is wrong with other people rather than appreciating them. It goes into inferior and superior comparisons.
Circumstances: No matter the circumstance or outcome, the Judge insists it is “bad” rather than seeing it as a gift or opportunity.
Thoughts and Feelings Associated with the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The thoughts and feelings arising from the Judge’s constant criticism have been emotionally draining:
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?
All my guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment are from the Judge.
Much of my anger and anxiety are instigated by the
Justification Lies of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is skilled at justifying its negativity through cunning lies:
“Being realistic“: It disguises pessimism as realism, making me believe its judgments are objective assessments.
“Constant improvement“: While growth is essential, the Judge takes it to an extreme, making me feel like I can never be good enough as I am.
“Fear of others’ judgment“: This Judge preys on my fear of criticism, pushing me towards an unattainable ideal to avoid others’ disapproval.
Impact on Myself and Others
The influence of the Judge extends beyond my inner world, affecting my relationships and interactions with others:
Negativity and toxicity: Constantly battling my inner critic has sometimes made me less understanding and supportive of others, inadvertently creating a hostile atmosphere.
Comparison and envy: The comparative nature of the Judge has led me to envy others’ achievements instead of genuinely celebrating their success.
Difficulty forming connections: Struggling with self-judgment has sometimes made creating authentic connections with others challenging.
My encounter with the Judge in Positive Intelligence® has been a challenging but eye-opening journey. Recognizing its characteristics, thoughts, and impact on myself and others empowered me to confront it. Through the Positive Intelligence® Program and self-compassion, I’m learning to challenge the Judge’s authority and embrace self-acceptance. While overcoming this inner critic is ongoing, I’m committed to progressing one step at a time. Embracing my imperfections and cultivating a healthier mindset, I aim to emerge stronger and kinder to myself and those around me.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with PQ®, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment. Here’s to a life filled with positivity, joy, and a healthier relationship with yourself and others!
Greetings, fellow seekers of self-awareness! Today, I invite you to embark on an introspective journey to identify and unmask your Shadow Saboteur. These inner companions often hinder our progress and success, but by delving deep within ourselves, we can shed light on their existence and find ways to overcome their influence. So, let us embark on this quest together, fueled by wisdom and a sincere desire for self-discovery.
The Inner Saboteur: Recognizing the Inner Critic Imagine this: you have a brilliant idea or a new project you’re excited about. Still, an insidious voice in your mind starts casting doubts and pointing out potential flaws. This is your Inner Saboteur, the manifestation of your self-critical thoughts and fears.
To identify your Inner Saboteur, focus on moments of self-doubt and the negative narratives that arise within you. This saboteur thrives on undermining your confidenceand convincing you to play it safe. Challenge its voice by questioning its validity and recognizing that self-doubt is natural but doesn’t have to define you. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations of your abilities and worthiness. Trust in your capabilities and let your authentic self shine through.
The Resistance Guardian: Overcoming Procrastination and Fear Sometimes, when faced with important tasks or opportunities, you find yourself stalling or avoiding them altogether. The Resistance Guardian creates this resistance, an internal force that keeps you within your comfort zone.
To recognize the Resistance Guardian, pay attention to procrastination, fear, and avoidance patterns. It thrives on maintaining the status quo and protecting you from the discomfort of change. Confront this guardian by embracing the growth that lies beyond your comfort zone. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and set achievable goals. Celebrate your progress and cultivate a mindset of curiosity and openness. Real growth happens when we step outside our comfort zones and face our fears.
The Limiting Belief Conjurer: Challenging Self-Limiting Thoughts Within each of us resides a conjurer of limiting beliefs—thoughts that tell us we’re incapable, not deserving, or not worthy of our aspirations. These beliefs hold us back from reaching our full potential.
To identify the Limiting Belief Conjurer, pay attention to moments when you doubt yourself, hesitate to take action, or dismiss your accomplishments. Challenge these beliefs by examining their origin and questioning their validity. Replace them with empowering thoughts and affirmations that reflect your true potential. Embrace self-compassion and practice self-care to counteract the negative impact of these beliefs. Remember, you deserve success, and your potential knows no bounds.
The journey to unmask your Shadow Saboteur requires patience, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth. You will embark on a path of self-discovery and empowerment by recognizing and addressing your inner critic, overcoming resistance and fear, and challenging limiting beliefs.
Remember, this journey is a lifelong endeavor, but the insights and wisdom gained along the way are invaluable. Embrace the transformative power of self-awareness and let your authentic self shine. You can transcend the limitations imposed by your Shadow Saboteur and create a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.
Until next time, be well and be authentic,
Debbie
Want to know more about identifying your Shadow Saboteur and how you can break your patterns? Schedule a free Discovery Call today for your transformational pathway to success and confidence.
If you are like me, your inner critic is frequently yelling at you. Are you judging others, yourself, and situations, and do you want to stop?
If you can relate, read on for some tips. Then contact me so we can shut down and weaken the Judge Saboteur together, and you can finally be free of thoughts racing through your head!
Everyone has a Saboteur. The question is, “Have you weakened it?” Chances are, you haven’t, don’t know how, or aren’t aware you even have one.
The Judge, a highly powerful Saboteur, is indoctrinated in us at an early age. We judge our performance in school, on the playground, and at home; we judge others for the same, and we judge our circumstances or situation in life.
Have you ever said to yourself, “I should have done better on that project. I’m such a loser when it comes to details,” or something similar?
Maybe you’ve judged a co-worker; “What a slacker he is; he always takes extra time on breaks.
Or you’ve judged your circumstances in life as getting the short of the stick; you weren’t born to the right parents; there’s always a wrench thrown your way to mess things up.
“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
According to Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, the Judge is the universal Saboteur that beats you up repeatedly over mistakes or shortcomings, warns you obsessively about future risks, and gets you fixated on what is wrong with others or your life. Your Judge is your greatest internal enemy and causes you much of your stress and unhappiness and reduces your effectiveness.
So, what can you do, and how can you weaken the Judge?
First, ask yourself why you’re judging.
Is it because you need to belong or feel part of a group?
Is it because you need to feel “better than” or superior to someone?
Is it because you don’t want to see those aspects in yourself?
Is it because you want to know where you fit in, who, and what you like?
After becoming aware of why you’re judging, pause and feel the emotions and the bodily sensations that occur. Are they pleasant, or are they distressing?
Negative emotions are only helpful for one second as your alert signal, just like the signal you get from putting your hand on a hot stove. You don’t keep your hand on it; you remove it quickly.
You can become aware when judging by being curious and listening to what your body tells you. Change can occur when these alert signals are heeded; judging can be transmuted into discernment.
When using discernment, you are curious and search for understanding and insight from a situation enabling you to make an intelligent decision. You can see clearly and respond with empathy, compassion, creativity, and laser-focused action.
To weaken your Judge Saboteur, strengthen your discernment; it’s your key to success.
Strengthening your discernment isn’t easy, but you can increase your abilities by focusing on your business. Where do you struggle?
Do you always talk, or are you quiet as a churchmouse? If you’re perceived as a know-it-all, people will shut you out and may cause your working relationships to suffer.
On the other hand, if you never speak up, no one will recognize you as having anything to offer, which could be detrimental when working on a project.
Learning when to speak up and when to stay quiet strengthens your discernment.
Are you are perfectionist and late with your tasks? When you need to have everything perfect, you’re judging your work. Find colleagues with similar projects and watch how they complete them. Use this knowledge with your wisdom to discern what is necessary to hand in.
Do you hold onto constructive feedback as criticism from your boss? Taking time to consider and assess what value you can find in the feedback rather than getting annoyed or angry is a step in improving your discernment resulting in greater success.
If you find your Judge Saboteur is showing up frequently and blocking your success and potential, begin practicing the virtue of discernment.
We all have archetypes—universal patterns of mythical power— within our psyche, and the Saboteur archetype may be the most difficult to understand because its name is associated with betrayal. Caroline Myss calls it the Guardian of Choice because its purpose is to help you identify when you are about to make a decision that weakens you.
When an opportunity arises that helps you grow by stretching your comfort zone, have you ever heard a whispering voice beneath you that says, “You’re not good enough. You’ll never make that achievement?” If you have, what you’re hearing is the internal Saboteur raising the possibility of failure, which is a decidedly fearsome prospect.
Another example is when you fear success. You call upon the Saboteur to destroy the foundation of that success because the responsibility seems overwhelming: What if I let people down? What if I’m not able to sustain the position?
The Saboteur operates in the shadows of our subconscious.
HOW TO BECOME AWARE OF THE SABOTEUR
The Saboteur’s fears and issues are all related to low self-esteem that causes you to make choices that block your empowerment and success.
The Saboteur’s core issue is fear of initiating change into your life, change that rearranges your entire reality and requires you to respond in a positive way to opportunities that shape and deepen your self-esteem and empowerment. Ignore it, and the shadow Saboteur will manifest in the form of destructive behavior or the desire to undermine others.
It typically makes its presence known through a feeling or a thought that is rooted in fear. It may be a feeling of anxiety, doubt, of looking stupid, lack of confidence, or being afraid of failing. The Saboteur can guard your heart and push away any people or opportunities that bring you joy or success.
Only when we become aware of the Saboteur and recognize it can we make it our ally. The first way you can explore the shadow aspect of the Saboteur is to observe your behavior. You can effectively do this by creating a journal where you recorded the times or events when you realized you’d sabotaged yourself.
The keyword here is OBSERVE. The Saboteur needs to be recognized for it to be integrated.
You don’t want to analyze. You want to observe, and through the power of observation, you will garner the capacity to see things from a higher perspective, which will lead to positive behavioral change.
QUESTIONS TO ASK OF YOURSELF
Acknowledging the Saboteur requires us to take responsibility as we must look at our failures and missed opportunities and find how we contributed to the situation. A few questions to ask yourself to learn how to become aware of the action of the Saboteur within are:
In what areas of my life do I fear change?
What fears have the most authority over me? List three.
How have I thwarted my success in the past?
What am I protecting myself or someone else from by sabotaging my success?
What happens when fear overtakes me? Does it make me silent?
Have I let creative opportunities pass me by?
How conscious am I in the moment that I am sabotaging myself?
When we make the Saboteur our friend and ally, we can then make decisions based on our highest purpose in life, as we stand firm in our center with unwavering self-esteem rather than giving in to our fears egos.
