In Episode 12 of From the Shadow to the Light, we step into the beauty and complexity of early love. What begins as a dream—my wedding day and honeymoon—soon reveals deeper truths beneath the surface. As reality fails to match expectation, emotional triggers and unresolved archetypes emerge. This episode explores how the desire for a perfect start can clash with inner wounds, highlighting how even the most blissful chapters can contain the seeds of awakening.

Episode Title: The Honeymoon Phase
Episode Number: 12

Welcome to Episode 12 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 12 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

In this episode, I recount the early days of my marriage—joyful on the surface, but quietly revealing old patterns and unspoken resentments underneath. From a missing photographer to a face full of wedding cake, unmet expectations began to chip away at the illusion of perfection. On our honeymoon, moments of serenity were interrupted by sudden fears and internal reflection. Through it all, I began to see how the archetypes of the Invisible Child, the Victim, and the Dry Drunk were shaping my experience—and how solitude and presence could guide me back to truth.

Reflective Questions

Theme 1—The Perfect Start and Unexpected Hiccups

Theme 2—Unmet Expectations and Growing Resentment

1. How do unmet expectations affect your relationships?
2. What strategies do you use to manage disappointment?
3. Think about a time when someone let you down—did you express how you felt or hold it in?

Theme 3—Archetypes and Self-Reflection

1. Which archetypes show up for you in stressful situations?
2. How do they influence your reactions?
3. Can recognizing these patterns help you move through conflict with more clarity?

Theme 4—Honeymoon Bliss and Moments of Fear

1. Have you experienced fear in a moment that was supposed to be joyful?
2. How do you balance moments of joy with unexpected anxiety?
3. What did you learn from facing fear in a peaceful setting?

As we close Episode 12, may this chapter remind you that even in the most blissful moments, our inner landscape is alive with growth, truth, and transformation. The wedding and honeymoon weren’t just a celebration—they were a mirror reflecting my deepest fears, hopes, and patterns.

The contrast between joy and discomfort revealed how unhealed parts of me still longed for validation, attention, and control. Yet, within those cracks, I also found the first glimpses of what true intimacy might look like—raw, honest, and imperfect.

Thank you for joining me on today’s podcast of From the Shadow to the Light. As we prepare for our next episode, “My Dark Night of the Soul,” we explore what happens when the lights go out and you’re left alone with the truth—and the grace that follows.

In Episode 11 of From the Shadow to the Light, we explore what happens when the illusion of connection becomes a substitute for true healing. Still emotionally raw from my Breakthrough experience, I found myself swept into a rebound relationship that exposed the unresolved shadows I wasn’t yet ready to face. This episode shines a light on emotional vulnerability, the archetypes that sabotage growth, and the quiet self-deceptions that can keep us from true intimacy and transformation.

Episode Title: On the Rebound
Episode Number: 11

Welcome to Episode 11 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 11 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

This chapter explores the complexities of emotional affairs, the self-deception that often accompanies them, and the long-term effects of rebounding from one relationship to another without allowing oneself the necessary time to heal. It’s a raw and honest look at how deeply ingrained patterns can sabotage our efforts to create healthy, fulfilling relationships. Through the lens of my experience with Tom, I began to see how unresolved wounds from the past can resurface in subtle but powerful ways, especially when we rush into new connections while still emotionally vulnerable.

In this episode, I shed light on how the Saboteur and Prostitute archetypes showed up during this period, influencing my choices and undermining my growth. These patterns, though often unconscious, had a profound impact on my ability to honor my truth and maintain healthy boundaries. As I share my story, I invite you to reflect on your own journey through emotional entanglements and discover how awareness, patience, and honesty can open the door to genuine healing.

Theme 1—The Emotional Rawness Post-Breakthrough

Theme 2—The Early Connection

1. Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone who seemed to understand your most profound transformations?
2. How do you distinguish between genuine compatibility and the excitement of new connections?
3. What role does timing play in the development of new relationships?

Theme 3—The Saboteur and the Prostitute Archetypes

1. How do the Saboteur and Prostitute archetypes manifest in your own life, and what can you learn from them?
2. What are the core issues related to these archetypes that you struggle with, and how can you address them?
3. How can you use the awareness of these archetypes to enhance your self-esteem and personal growth?

Theme 4—Emotional Affairs and Self-Deception

1. Have you ever been in an emotional affair? What did you learn about yourself from that experience?
2. How do you recognize when a platonic relationship is turning into an emotional affair?
3. What strategies can you employ to maintain honesty and integrity in your relationships, avoiding the pitfalls of self-deception?

Theme 5—The Impact of Rebound Relationships

1. What patterns do you notice in your relationships, and how can you break the cycle of unhealthy connections?
2. How can you ensure that your next relationship is based on genuine connection rather than a rebound from the past?
3. What role does self-awareness play in preventing the formation of rebound relationships?

As we wrap up today’s episode, “On the Rebound,” we’ve navigated the tumultuous waters of rebound relationships, explored the roles of key archetypes like the Saboteur and the Prostitute, and delved into the complexities of emotional affairs. Each story shared and each insight revealed has aimed to illuminate the often difficult but necessary path of personal transformation and healing.

This episode has underscored the importance of confronting our fears, embracing our true selves, and making choices that foster our long-term well-being and growth. Thank you for joining me on today’s podcast of From the Shadow to the Light. 

As we prepare for our next episode, The Honeymoon Phase, we’ll explore how fantasy and idealization can mask deeper issues—and what happens when reality starts to break through the illusion.

In Episode 10 of From the Shadow to the Light,  we explore what happens when the emotional façade cracks and a deep, necessary transformation begins. As I faced a personal crisis amidst what should have been a fresh start, I was led into the Breakthrough program at Caron—an intensive dive into healing, trauma, and the truth of my inner world. This episode shines a light on the difficult journey from emotional breakdown to soul-level breakthrough.

Episode Title: Breakthrough
Episode Number: 10

Welcome to Episode 10 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 10 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

This chapter of my life marks a major turning point—a beautiful new home, a hopeful relationship, and yet, behind it all, unresolved pain waiting to surface. Episode 10 explores how inner turmoil can manifest in even the most picture-perfect situations. From the unraveling of my marriage to the raw vulnerability of intensive therapy, “Breakthrough” dives into the emotional depths that revealed the wounds I had long buried.

The journey through Caron’s five-day Breakthrough program forced me to confront trauma, grief, and long-standing behavioral patterns. This experience, especially the psychodrama session and regression therapy, laid the groundwork for true emotional healing. As I returned home, I began applying these revelations in real-time—facing the end of my marriage with new insights, tools, and a deeper connection to my truth.

Theme 1—New Beginnings and Unexpected Challenges

Theme 2—Realizing the Breakdown

1. Have you ever felt a sense of isolation within a relationship, where physical closeness masked emotional distance?
2. How have minor disputes revealed deeper relational issues in your life?
3. Has a relationship crisis ever forced you to reevaluate your own needs and identity?

Theme 3—Entering Breakthrough

1. What pushed you to seek help during a personal crisis? How did you feel taking that first step?
2. When has the support of others been transformative during your healing journey?
3. Can you recall a moment when confronting painful truths began your own healing?

Theme 4—Emotional Release

1. What childhood memory still holds emotional weight for you?
2. How have your protective mechanisms from childhood affected your adult relationships?
3. What happens when you offer compassion to your younger self?

Theme 5—Facing Reality with New Insights

1. How have you managed the transition back into daily life after a transformative experience? relationships?
2. What breakthroughs have changed your relationships or self-perception?
3. What promises have you made to yourself during times of growth, and how do you stay accountable

As we draw this episode to a close, we reflect on our profound journey together. From hopeful beginnings to the emotionally raw space of intensive therapy, this chapter reveals that healing is not linear—it is layered, challenging, and deeply personal.

I’m reminded that the final curtain on my marriage also marked the beginning of discovering myself more honestly than ever before. True change began when I stopped pointing outward and started looking inward.

Healing often begins at the point of emotional surrender. In the darkness of breakdown, there is an invitation to step into truth, to face the parts of ourselves we’ve hidden, and to reclaim our power. Breakthroughs don’t come when we’re ready—they come when we’re willing.

May this episode serve as a reminder that breakthroughs often follow our hardest moments. Each layer we peel back brings us closer to freedom. What inner breakthrough are you ready to embrace?

Thank you for joining me on today’s podcast of From the Shadow to the Light. Stay with me for Episode 11: On the Rebound, where I explore emotional vulnerability, rebound relationships, and the ways our inner archetypes can sabotage—or save—us when we least expect it.

1. Think about a time when you felt betrayed. How did you respond to the pain of that betrayal? Did you find yourself falling into the role of the Victim, and if so, how did you navigate your way through that experience?
2. In what situations have you noticed the Saboteur influencing your decisions? How have these choices impacted your life and relationships?
3. How do you balance the immediate emotional responses with the longer-term impacts of your decisions? What strategies help you recognize when the Saboteur is at play?

1. Have you ever reached a point where mental health challenges impacted your decision-making? How did you cope with the aftermath, and what steps did you take towards recovery?
2. Reflect on a time when your inner Saboteur seemed to take control. What triggered this, and how did you recognize and confront this aspect of yourself?
3. Mental health crises can force us to confront our deepest fears and shadows. How have such experiences shaped your understanding of yourself and your journey toward healing?

1. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? What strategies did you employ to maintain connection despite the physical distance?
2. How have cultural differences impacted your relationships? What have you learned from these experiences about communication and understanding?

1. How has love changed you? What have you discovered about yourself through your relationships?
2. What lessons about love and personal growth have you learned from your experiences in long-distance or culturally complex relationships?
3. Reflecting on your own journey, how do you balance your personal development with the demands of a relationship?

Episode 8 of From the Shadow to the Light explores the painful cycle of feeling stuck and making external progress while battling internal struggles. Chapter 8—Banging My Head Against a Brick Wall, delves into the reality of being a “dry drunk”—physically sober but emotionally unchanged—while chasing professional success and unhealthy relationships as distractions from more profound wounds. Join me as I unravel the lessons hidden in frustration, self-sabotage, and the search for true healing.

Episode Title: Banging My Head Against a Brick Wall
Episode Number: 8

Welcome to Episode 8 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 8 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

Many people believe that quitting alcohol or achieving external success automatically leads to healing. But what happens when you make progress on the outside while still feeling trapped on the inside? This episode explores that struggle—where professional milestones, personal relationships, and spiritual seeking all seem to lead to the same emotional dead ends.

From excelling in a male-dominated industry while battling unresolved anger to seeking validation through toxic relationships, my journey highlights how addiction doesn’t always look like drinking. The real battle was deeper, and despite my best efforts, I kept running into the same patterns, over and over—until I realized the real change had to come from within.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re making all the right moves but still end up in the same painful cycles, this episode is for you.

Theme 1—Navigating Professional Challenges as a Dry Drunk

Additional Questions:

1. How do you maintain your self-worth in environments that test your confidence and question your capabilities?
2. How have past unresolved emotions influenced the way you react to challenges in your professional life?
3. What strategies can help you separate professional success from personal self-worth?

Theme 2—Personal Relationships and Self-Discovery

1. Have you ever found yourself in relationships that mirrored other dependencies or addictions in your life?
2. How do you cope with the fear of being alone or the need for constant emotional validation?

Additional Questions:

1. How do you maintain your self-worth in environments that test your confidence and question your capabilities?
2. How have past unresolved emotions influenced the way you react to challenges in your professional life?
3. What strategies can help you separate professional success from personal self-worth?

Theme 3—The Seeker Archetype and the Quest for Self-Discovery

1. Have you ever felt like a Seeker, constantly searching for answers or trying to fill a void within yourself? How has this quest influenced your relationships and personal growth?
2. In what ways have your attempts at self-help or spiritual exploration revealed deeper issues you were not initially aware of?

Theme 4—The First Saturn Return: A Time of Existential Transformation

1. How have you navigated the pressure to change or evolve during significant life transitions? What coping mechanisms have you found effective?
2. Reflect on a time when you felt a deep need to question or alter your path. What drove these changes, and how have they shaped who you are today?

Theme 5—Navigating Health Challenges: Ocular Convergence Spasms

1. Have you ever encountered a health issue that seemed to reflect deeper life stresses? How did you address both the physical symptoms and their emotional counterparts?
2. What strategies have you employed to maintain your health when faced with chronic conditions or unexpected health challenges?

Theme 6—Loss of Billy: Navigating Grief and Sustaining Faith

1. Have you ever placed hope in a new relationship or situation, only to have it unexpectedly taken away? How did you cope with that loss?
2. How have significant losses impacted your journey in recovery or personal growth?
3. In times of deep personal crisis, how has your faith or core beliefs provided support or been challenged?

As we close Episode 8, we reflect on the patterns that keep us feeling stuck and the courage required to break them. The journey to healing is not just about quitting a habit or chasing external success but about confronting the deeper wounds that drive our behaviors. May this episode serve as a reminder that real change

In Episode 7 of From the Shadow to the Light, we explore the pivotal moment in Chapter 7—Putting Down the Drink, when I put down the drink—an act that would redefine my life in ways I never expected. While the decision to stop drinking seemed like the ultimate solution, I quickly learned that sobriety alone wasn’t enough to heal the wounds that led me to addiction in the first place. Join me as I reflect on the challenges of early sobriety, the reality of being a “dry drunk,” and the deeper transformation required to reclaim my true self.

Episode Title: Putting Down the Drink
Episode Number: 7

Welcome to Episode 7 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 7 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

Deciding to stop drinking is often seen as the defining moment of recovery, but for me, it was only the beginning. Putting Down the Drink delves into the reality of quitting alcohol without addressing the underlying pain that fueled my addiction.

For 17 years, I lived as what many call a “dry drunk”—free from alcohol but still trapped in the patterns of my old life. Sobriety brought external stability, but inside, I was still fighting battles I had never faced. In this episode, we explore the illusions of early recovery, the struggle of identity shifts, and the real work of transformation that extends beyond putting down the drink.

This is a story for anyone who has ever believed that stopping an addiction would solve everything, only to realize that true healing requires much more.

Theme 1—Facing the Challenge

Additional Questions:

1. Contemplate the significance of choice in the process of personal transformation. What does it mean to actively choose change, even in the face of uncertainty and adversity?
2. How do we balance the fear of letting go with hoping for something better ahead?
3. What role does accountability play in making and maintaining difficult life changes?

Theme 2—Navigating the Journey

1. Reflect on when you felt the tug of temptation pulling you away from your path of growth and transformation. What strategies did you employ to resist temptation and stay true to your goals?
2. Consider the theme of inner turmoil versus external appearance. How do societal expectations and perceptions influence our ability to confront our inner demons and embrace authentic transformation?

Additional Questions:

1. How have the relationships and connections in your life served as sources of strength and resilience during challenging times?
2. What are the differences between abstaining from behavior and truly healing from its root causes?
3. How do you rebuild trust in yourself after breaking free from self-destructive patterns?

Theme 3—Confronting the Shadow

1. How do you relate to the “shadow self” concept and its influence on behavior and decision-making? Have you encountered moments where your own shadow aspects have surfaced, impacting your life?
2. What behavior patterns, such as denial, have hindered your authentic growth, and what steps have you taken to confront them?

Theme 4—The Burden of Illness

1. Have you experienced similar challenges, such as the burden of illness, in your journey toward self-discovery? If so, how has it been a catalyst for personal growth and transformation?
2. Consider the emotional toll of witnessing a loved one’s battle with illness. How does the experience of caregiving shape your own sense of identity and purpose?

Theme 5—Seeking Balance

1. How do you perceive the concept of balance in your own journey of personal transformation? What areas of your life do you feel need greater harmony and alignment?
2. Reflect on a time when you experienced a sense of imbalance within yourself. What emotions and thoughts arose during that time? How did you navigate the process of restoring equilibrium?

As we close Episode 7, we reflect on the reality that simply putting down the drink is not the same as true healing. The journey to recovery is not just about abstaining from alcohol but about facing the deeper wounds that led us there in the first place. May this episode serve as a reminder that transformation is not just about removing what harms us but about actively building a new life rooted in self-awareness, resilience, and authenticity.