The door of my soul. It grows louder and soon pounds. I cannot bear it any longer, and now, Shuttered for countless seasons, the knob Begins to rotate, ever so gently, A sliver of light Tiptoes through the crack.
Little by little, it awakens a foreign mystery That lies asleep deep within My physical body. I am in awe.
I whisper quietly to myself, yet no words come forth. What is this experience? I hear the answer without a sound. I know.
Like a lost and frightened child Searching endlessly for her mother, Until once reunited with her, I am safe.
My essence, my being, my soul, Gradually emerges, awakening to wholeness, As the shadow of enlightenment retreats. I am free.
Conscious of the fear, pain, and sorrow In my life’s journey are stepping stones That allow me to reach my highest potential. I AM.
As I was composing my thoughts for an abbreviated and tardy newsletter, I realized I had overextended myself with more than I could accomplish. As a result, I noticed pain creeping back into the nerves of my shin, a clear indicator of stress, reminding me it was necessary to let some things go. My priority was to honor my uncle, the Rev. William J. Hultberg, for his 85th birthday. For several weeks I was taking the necessary steps to prepare a family BBQ for the celebration, which included creating a patio for my Weber grill. Fr. Bill literally saved my life, paying for my stay at the Caron Foundation, where he was the Spiritual Director and where I learned just how important the art of letting go is. He is my hero and guardian angel, and to say I am grateful for him, is an understatement.
In class, I often remind my students to let go if they are in a particularly challenging pose. Letting go does not mean to disengage your muscles, but rather the struggle in your mind. Letting go of the thoughts or judgment of what the pose should look like, and placing the attention on the breath and what the pose feels like to them. Letting go of the external world is indeed difficult when your entire life is programmed around it. Going within, however, is where ultimate freedom takes place, allowing yourself to “be“ in the external world without fear or judgment. You begin to open slowly, just as the rose gently unfolds one petal at a time, allowing yourself to “just be”.
Many times, while in the middle of a class, when a student is struggling, the Divine downloads an image to use as an analogy, and to assist with the understanding. The image for letting go that was placed in my mind’s eye, was that of a boa constrictor. A boa, once it takes hold of you, will squeeze the life out of you, holding on until you die. If it lets go and releases you, you thrive. The same is true for life itself. Holding onto anything, whether it be thoughts, people, or beliefs, will only suffocate your life, stifling it. True freedom arises when you let go.
Letting go is not easy, but it is simple. Begin by letting go of something minor or trivial, such as a household item or an article of clothing. Just tell the item it has served you well in the past, but now it is time for someone else to receive the joy it provides. You may even hum the tune, “Please release me, let me go….” as you lovingly pack it away.
When I arrived home sixteen years ago from a 30-day program at the Caron Treatment Center located in Wernersville, PA, I knew I needed to change my thoughts and the words I spoke. Specifically, I needed to reprogram and reboot my consciousness, a very challenging task, to say the least.
As I created an outline of what was vital, I realized the first step for my success was the willingness to do the work, which is simple but not easy in theory. We are, after all, programmed from even before the day we are born to do, be, and act, whatever our “tribe” teaches us.
If I wanted lasting change, it was essential that I leave the “tribe” and individuated. For the first time in my life, be independent, focusing on the thoughts I was thinking and the words I was speaking. To my revelation, I was not only losing power, but I was also noncommittal. For a person of integrity, where your word means everything, wavering is a death sentence.
For instance, even constructively, when someone criticized me, I took it personally and felt they hurt my feelings. Suddenly, a light bulb lit up, and I took my power back as I knew no one is capable of making me feel a certain emotion. I choose how I feel, just like it’s a choice to be happy – no matter what! Again, simple, but not always easy for those in the shadow.
Also, I removed certain words from my vocabulary; try, probably, and hard. Yoda, the creature from Star Wars, said it best: “Do or do not. There is no try.” Oprah also cautioned, “Trying is failing with honor.” Who wants to fail, even if it is with honor? To me, these words leave wiggle room for people to keep their options open. I’ll ask, “Can you come over for a visit this evening?” Their response, “I’ll try.” I say to myself, “Don’t bother; I know you won’t.” Does this sound familiar?
Recently, I was sitting with a client after a Yin Yoga session, chatting as we often do. He mentioned his daughter’s husband. Hmm…I thought and immediately asked, “Why isn’t he your son-in-law?” Having been aware of his disappointment with the man his daughter married, it was apparent (at least to me), he was strengthening that disappointment each time he thought or spoke those words. He is now aware of it, and it will stick to him like Velcro each time he says it from now on.
The word, probably, hit me on the head like a hammer on a nail while my ex-spouse and I were in a marriage counseling session. Having specifically chosen a male therapist so he wouldn’t think women were ganging up on him, I was dumbfounded when he answered a question posed to him.
The question was, “Did you withhold love from Debbie as a form of punishment?”His reply was “probably.” Probably?? He DID withhold love from me. It was a simple yes or no question, yet he opened a door that left room for his perceived innocence. He was not able to take responsibility for his actions. “Probably” is a word that waves a red flag in my face today.
No matter where you are today, whether you speak before you think, think before you speak, or somewhere in the middle, it all begins with you. Are you being empowered by your words or allowing your power to escape? It’s up to you to dig down deep,” go within,” and do the work. Not only is it worth your effort to do so, but it is also integral for manifestation and lasting healing of any kind. Your body, mind, and spirit will have unequivocal gratitude for you having done so.
To learn more about the power of words and how to change them, schedule your free 15-minute Assessment now!
If you haven’t read Michael Singer’s “The Untethered Soul” yet, do yourself a favor and go buy the book; that is, if you want personal freedom and inner peace. Singer takes you on a journey that is easy to understand, yet is profound in many ways. One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 9: Removing Your Inner Thorn, which is about welcoming life’s challenges and seeing them as opportunities for growth.
Life’s obstacles can be viewed as “your inner thorns” and may include anger, fear, envy, and more. In my own life, I held onto these issues for a very long time, never being aware I had a choice. In fact, all I knew was that I “protected” them by altering my behavior so they would not be so painful. Many times, that meant pushing them down, denying they even existed, even though they were ever so present in my life. It was like playing the boardwalk game “whack-a-mole”, where I would bop one problem down only to see another pop-up. This was a recurring theme in my life. Have you had this happen?
When I got sober in 2000, the veil was lifted, leaving me cognizant I had choices. I had choices! This meant I could keep protecting my problems or I could remove them. Choosing the latter, I simply let them go. By not holding to anything that weighed me down, I was now free. My chords were cut. Although this is a simple solution, it is not easy! Everything I let go of in my life had claw marks all over it.
One day, as I was sitting in my orthopedic doctor’s office, a miracle occurred. Let me give you the background.
The Friday before Labor Day, 2013, I had an MRI of my knee to rule in/out a meniscus tear. The results were available in 48 hours, but since it was a holiday weekend I wouldn’t be informed until the following Tuesday. By Wednesday, after not hearing from the doctor’s office, I called asking for the outcome. Since no one was able to come to the phone, I left a message. The same thing happened on Thursday. By Friday I was thoroughly irritated and I told the receptionist I was staying on the phone until I spoke to someone. The PA took the call and was surprised because she told her assistant to call me to find out where the MRI was taken. When I informed her of the location, she promised to call me right back. Within twenty minutes she was on the phone telling me a tear was present and I needed surgery.
Since my insurance was to be renewed October 1st, and knowing I had an appointment at the end of the month, I asked if it could be rescheduled for an earlier time, allowing sufficient time to schedule the operation. The PA told me there was an opening at 9 am that Monday, but at a different location. “Great, I’ll take it”, I told her and was beginning to let go of my earlier agitation at the staff’s ineptitude.
Scenario: I arrive at the new location at 8:50 am and check-in a full ten minutes early. As I sat down to wait, I began reading Chapter 9: “Removing Your Inner Thorn”. Twenty minutes later, the receptionist called me upfront and asked, “What are you doing here? Your appointment isn’t until the end of the month.” Without any emotion, I related what I was told, and her reply was, “Oh, we’ll have to squeeze you in here somewhere.”
As I sat down and waited another thirty-five minutes, there was no angst within me at all. I just watched as the spectacle, the angst, just passed me by. I didn’t have to remove my inner thorn, because I never allowed the thorn to come in, in the first place. Now that, my friends, is a true miracle!
Why do you want to know? First, an archetype is a pattern of power that everyone, including you, recognizes and uses all the time. When you label a person as a Princess or a Rebel, you know their characteristics just from that one word. When you say, “She’s such a Princess!” you know the person you’re talking about loves all things fine and beautiful, as well as wanting a Knight to sweep her away and take care of her forever. With the Rebel, you know the person goes against the mainstream, whether it be concerning religion, appearance, or authority. In other words, when you identify someone’s archetype, you don’t have to explain its meaning; with that one word, everyone understands it psychically.
Second, and perhaps more importantly, you want to know what your archetypes are to become empowered. The following analogy will allow you to grasp the significance of it. Imagine a train. Your BODY is the CABOOSE, and the ARCHETYPE is the ENGINE. You want to learn your archetypes to get your hands on the ENGINE, which has all the POWER. When you live your life in the CABOOSE, you are being dragged, unable to direct your life. You have NO POWER. You ask yourself, “How did this happen? How did I get here?” and the answer is, you are not in the engine of your own train.
Also, archetypes are impersonal; there is no emotion in this level of consciousness. There is only data. You may get emotional about the data, but there is no emotion in this realm of energy.
HOW MANY ARCHETYPES DO YOU HAVE?
You have 12 basic archetypes, 4 of which are common to the human race: Saboteur, Prostitute, Victim, Child (Magical, Orphan, Wounded, Nature, Eternal, Divine). Caroline Myss identifies these 4 in her work, Sacred Contracts, as the Survival Archetypes, and in essence, give you opportunities throughout your life to develop self-esteem. (You are not born with self-esteem, you must build it.) Think of them as four legs of a table. One of the legs is going through the challenges of the Saboteur. You will feel these challenges because life presents you with many situations where you have the opportunity to empower yourself instead of sabotage. We often fear change, yet change is necessary to deepen our resolve to see the world more truthfully. Deliberately turning away opportunities that will positively change your life is a glaring signal you are in the shadow of the Saboteur.
Another leg of the table that confronts you is the Prostitute archetype. We all go through trials where we are tested to cultivate our faith, not to negotiate any part of our lives for the well-being of our physical security. When you have no faith, there will always be a price you are willing to obtain. With faith, you cannot be bought; your integrity (self-esteem) is intact. The Prostitute shows itself when you’re in a job you know is not ethical, or you remain in an unhealthy relationship for fear of being alone. When you confront your fears of survival, having faith you can take care of yourself, this archetype is transformed into your protector.
The Victim, a fear known by everyone, is also a leg that supports your table of self-esteem and self-respect. In its shadow, the Victim is present every time you tell yourself it’s never your fault. You are given a road map with obstacles and challenges that will make you feel like nothing is easy. It’s when you take things personally. An example is when someone takes an illness, such as cancer, and says, “Why did this happen to me?” Once you tell yourself the disease, cancer, happens to many people and is not personal, you are victorious and have confronted the shadow. The illness itself is impersonal, but your experience of cancer is intensely personal.
The fourth and final leg of the table is the Child archetype, which contains various types, such as the Wounded, Abandoned, Orphan, Invisible, Eternal, Magical, or Divine Child. Without going into all types of Child, suffice it to say the core issue of all the Child archetypes, writes Caroline Myss, “is dependency vs. responsibility: when to take responsibility; when to take responsibility, when to have a healthy dependency, when to stand up to the group, and when to embrace communal life.” When you think of a child, you see someone who is happy and carefree, which is our normal state. As we grow from children to teenagers and finally adults, we go through various maturation stages, such as when you become conscious of what is right and wrong at around the age of seven to when your spiritual power emerges around twenty-one. Each archetype is bound by both light and shadow aspects, of which the latter must be confronted.
If you are intrigued by what you’ve just read, then I’ve done my job. It’s important to remember that archetypes are impersonal patterns of power in you; they are neither good nor bad; they are just patterns by which you behave. There is no emotion in archetypes; there is only data. They are real forces, entities and they are psychic fields. When you understand the power archetypes have, you’ll become empowered by discovering the TRUTH about yourself, and FEAR will slip away…..I promise. One thing I’ve learned is “the speed at which you see TRUTH changes the speed of CHANGE in your life.” Do you want that to happen? If so, contact me for more information or to schedule an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.
My priority was to honor my uncle, the Rev. William J. Hultberg, for his 85th birthday. For several weeks I was taking the necessary steps to prepare a family BBQ for the celebration, which included creating a patio for my Weber grill. Fr. Bill literally saved my life, paying for my stay at the Caron Foundation, where he was the Spiritual Director and where I learned just how important the art of letting go is. He is my hero and guardian angel, and to say I am grateful for him, is an understatement.
Letting go of the thoughts or judgment of what the pose should look like, and placing the attention on the breath and what the pose feels like to them. Letting go of the external world is indeed difficult when your entire life is programmed around it. Going within, however, is where ultimate freedom takes place, allowing yourself to “be“ in the external world without fear or judgment. You begin to open slowly, just as the rose gently unfolds one petal at a time, allowing yourself to “just be”.
analogy, and to assist with the understanding. The image for letting go that was placed in my mind’s eye, was that of a boa constrictor. A boa, once it takes hold of you, will squeeze the life out of you, holding on until you die. If it lets go and releases you, you thrive. The same is true for life itself. Holding onto anything, whether it be thoughts, people, or beliefs, will only suffocate your life, stifling it. True freedom arises when you let go.
Oprah also cautioned, “Trying is failing with honor.” Who wants to fail, even if it is with honor? To me, these words leave wiggle room for people to keep their options open. I’ll ask, “Can you come over for a visit this evening?” Their response, “I’ll try.” I say to myself, “Don’t bother; I know you won’t.” Does this sound familiar?
WHAT IS AN ARCHETYPE? 
You want to learn your archetypes to get your hands on the ENGINE, which has all the POWER. When you live your life in the CABOOSE, you are being dragged, unable to direct your life. You have NO POWER. You ask yourself, “How did this happen? How did I get here?” and the answer is, you are not in the engine of your own train.
You will feel these challenges because life presents you with many situations where you have the opportunity to empower yourself instead of sabotage. We often fear change, yet change is necessary to deepen our resolve to see the world more truthfully. Deliberately turning away opportunities that will positively change your life is a glaring signal you are in the shadow of the Saboteur.
the Victim is present every time you tell yourself it’s never your fault. You are given a road map with obstacles and challenges that will make you feel like nothing is easy. It’s when you take things personally. An example is when someone takes an illness, such as cancer, and says, “Why did this happen to me?” Once you tell yourself the disease, cancer, happens to many people and is not personal, you are victorious and have confronted the shadow. The illness itself is impersonal, but your experience of cancer is intensely personal.