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THE 12 PRINCIPLES OF AA’s 12 STEPS – STEP ONE: ACCEPTANCE

THE 12 PRINCIPLES OF AA’s 12 STEPS – STEP ONE: ACCEPTANCE

by | Jul 11, 2018 | Blog

ACCEPTANCE

12-Step Principles 

Step One: Acceptance

In our journey through life, we all encounter moments when we need to mend the fabric of our existence. For me, alcohol wasn’t the root issue; it was merely a symptom. The true challenge lay within – a spiritual bankruptcy that needed addressing. It’s not just those battling addiction who require upliftment; everyone benefits from support at some point.

The divine inspiration of the 12 steps channeled through Bill W. and Dr. Bob provides a transformative path when followed sequentially. Each step aligns with a fundamental principle crucial to its effectiveness.

At the forefront is the principle of acceptance. Acknowledge your powerlessness over people, places, things, and situations. Embrace the idea that everything unfolds for a purpose, and true happiness lies in relinquishing expectations and the need to understand every twist of fate.

Serenity rayer

Consider these common scenarios in life:

  • Have you been betrayed by a spouse or significant other?
  • Are you misunderstood for something you did or said?
  • Have you lost someone close to you that you loved?
  • Were you ever unfairly terminated or fired from a job?
  • Have you gone through a bitter break-up or divorce?
  • Have you been falsely accused of something you didn’t do?

These experiences are part of life’s tapestry; while you may encounter one or more, acceptance is the key. You don’t have to like the situation, but accepting it paves the way for a smoother journey.

Take the loss of a loved one, for instance. Constantly dwelling on the unfulfilled future and seeking answers to unanswerable questions disrupts your peace. The real challenge is accepting change, not the loss itself.

Remember, You cannot change anything but yourself.

Acceptance is the first gift bestowed upon those committed to healing. It marks the beginning of your life’s transformative journey.

As a poignant reminder, here is the Acceptance Prayer from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (p. 417):

.

Acceptance 

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation —
Some fact of my life — unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” 

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417 

Are you having trouble accepting things in your life?

Schedule a complimentary Discovery call now to learn the steps to accepting whatever comes your way.

 

** Updated February 21, 2024

What is Shadow Work: 1 Essential Step to Self-Discovery

What is Shadow Work: 1 Essential Step to Self-Discovery

by | Jun 12, 2018 | Blog, Shadow Work

Shadow work meaning

Shadow Work Meaning: Understanding and Integrating Your Hidden Self

To fully grasp the meaning of Shadow Work, you must first understand the shadow self. According to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, the shadow consists of the parts of ourselves that we suppress, reject, or deny—often because they don’t align with societal expectations or personal ideals. These hidden aspects don’t disappear; instead, they get buried in the unconscious mind, shaping our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways we may not even realize.

Many of these shadow aspects form during childhood when we learn which traits are “acceptable” and which are met with criticism or rejection. Over time, we push unwanted parts of ourselves into the background—our fears, insecurities, selfish tendencies, or unresolved emotions. However, ignoring the shadow doesn’t eliminate it; it only causes unconscious behaviors that can negatively impact our lives.

What Are Shadow Traits?

When you explore Shadow Work meaning, some shadow aspects emerge:

  • Selfishness
  • Aggressive impulses
  • Shame or guilt
  • Entitlement
  • Jealousy or envy
  • Fear of rejection or failure
  • Judgmental attitudes

These hidden traits often manifest in destructive behaviors, such as:

🔹 Criticizing others for traits you secretly see in yourself
🔹 Feeling entitled and acting superior to others
🔹 Judging people unfairly or harshly
🔹 Playing the victim instead of taking responsibility

When left unchecked, a suppressed shadow can contribute to emotional struggles and self-sabotage, leading to:

🚨 Addictions
🚨 Uncontrollable anger or rage
🚨 Social anxiety
🚨 Obsessive-compulsive behaviors
🚨 Depression
🚨 Self-sabotage
🚨 Limiting beliefs

The more we suppress these parts of ourselves, the more they unconsciously influence our actions, decisions, and relationships.

Shadow Work Meaning

Shadow Work meaning is the intentional process of exploring, understanding, and integrating your shadow self. It’s about facing your hidden fears, patterns, and wounds, rather than avoiding them. This inner work allows you to reclaim suppressed parts of yourself, turning unconscious behaviors into conscious choices.

At its core, true Shadow Work meaning includes:

✔️ Acknowledging your shadow self instead of ignoring it
✔️ Embracing difficult emotions and hidden fears
✔️ Healing past wounds instead of reliving them in cycles
✔️ Integrating these lessons into your conscious experience

Rather than something to fear, your shadow holds deep wisdom and untapped potential.

How to Begin Shadow Work

Shadow Work is deeply personal, and everyone’s journey will look different. However, some of the most effective methods include:

1. Mindfulness Meditation: Becoming Present with Your Shadow

Sitting in silence and stillness allows you to observe thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness Meditation is a valuable tool because it helps you develop self-awareness, making it easier to recognize shadow triggers as they arise.

2. Cultivating Self-Compassion

Shadow Work requires self-acceptance. Many people struggle with their shadow because they feel ashamed of these parts. Instead of pushing them away, practice self-compassion by acknowledging that your fears and emotions are valid and worthy of attention.

3. Journaling: An Unfiltered Window into Your Shadow

Writing out your emotions, thoughts, and insights without censorship can provide breakthroughs in self-discovery. Try stream-of-consciousness writing—allowing whatever thoughts emerge to flow onto the page without judgment.

Journal Prompts for Shadow Work:

✍️ What emotions do I avoid expressing? Why?
✍️ What traits do I judge in others that I may secretly have myself?
✍️ What fears or limiting beliefs hold me back the most?
✍️ What childhood experiences shaped my current behaviors and reactions?

Reviewing past journal entries can help reveal recurring patterns in your thinking and behavior.

Why Do Shadow Work?

You might be wondering, “Why should I do Shadow Work?”

The truth is, until you own your shadow, your shadow will own you. When you refuse to acknowledge hidden fears and insecurities, they manifest in unconscious ways, affecting your:

✅ Relationships – Repeating the same unhealthy dynamics
✅ Career & Success – Self-sabotage, procrastination, or imposter syndrome
✅ Self-Worth – Feeling undeserving or constantly seeking validation
✅ Decision-Making – Acting from fear rather than confidence

When you work with your shadow, you stop projecting your hidden wounds onto others and instead turn inward to heal and integrate these aspects.

The Hidden Gifts of Shadow Work

Shadow Work isn’t just about healing; it’s also about unlocking your potential. When properly integrated, the shadow self contains strengths that can fuel personal growth, such as:

🌟 Creativity – Repressed emotions often block creative expression
🌟 Intuition – Self-awareness enhances gut instincts and decision-making
🌟 Resilience – Facing your shadow builds inner strength and emotional stability
🌟 Self-Esteem – Accepting all aspects of yourself leads to deep self-worth

Your shadow holds powerful, untapped resources. When embraced, it becomes a source of wisdom, authenticity, and transformation.

Final Thoughts: Embrace Your Shadow, Reclaim Your Power

Shadow Work isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most profound forms of self-healing and personal growth. By exploring the hidden parts of yourself, you gain emotional clarity, resilience, and self-mastery.

If you’re ready to start your journey, Go Within Spiritual Coaching offers a 6-week online course, Say Hello to Your Shadow Fears, designed to help you:

🌑 Identify and work with your shadow self
🌑 Transform limiting patterns into strengths
🌑 Heal past wounds and break self-sabotaging cycles
🌑 Step into self-awareness, confidence, and emotional freedom

Don’t let hidden fears control your life. It’s time to reclaim your power.

👉 Enroll in Say Hello to Your Shadow Fears Now

ENROLL NOW
WHAT YOU RESIST, PERSISTS

WHAT YOU RESIST, PERSISTS

by | Feb 27, 2018 | Blog

what you resist persists

What you resist, persists. This is a phrase I often use with my clients when teaching yoga, but it is a straightforward law, that once understood and put into practice, will change your life forever.

Would any change in your life, large or small, be something you find beneficial? Then pick one thing you struggle with and observe how you speak and think about it.

More people know what they don’t want, more than what they do want:

  • “I don’t want to be in debt.”
  • “I don’t want to be overweight.”
  • “I don’t want to be unhappy or sad.”
  • “I don’t want to look foolish in this yoga pose.”
Instead, they should say:
  • “I want to be financially secure.”
  • “I want to maintain a healthy weight.”
  • “I want joy and happiness in my life.”
  • “I want to do my best in this yoga pose.”

It is not the experience itself, whether being in debt, overweight, unhappy, or foolish looking that causes your pain and suffering, it is your resistance to the experience.

Simply by shifting your thoughts and words from what you don’t want to what you do, will create the results and change you desire. To accomplish this, however, you must make a conscious decision to reprogram your thought process. It’s a simple process, but not an easy one. I used index cards to remind me.

In 2006, when I was digging myself out of a large debt leftover from my divorce, I kept saying, “I can’t get out of debt.” Just as the Law of Magnetic Attraction states that like attracts like, my coach at the time told me I was attracting more debt.

He told me to write the affirmation –  Money flows freely and abundantly to me – on an index card and carry it with me wherever I went. I let go of my resistance to the idea of attracting more debt and a magical thing happened.

I won the Power Prize Jackpot at the Borgata for $35,574!

Now I can’t guarantee you’ll have results on that scale, but I do know that when you let go of the resistance to anything, it allows things to flow to you freely and abundantly.

Know that the Universe is on your side and go with the flow!

Happy Allowing!

THE POWER OF WORDS

THE POWER OF WORDS

by | Jan 26, 2018 | Blog, Transformative Coaching

The Power of Words new

THE POWER OF WORDS

Have you ever not wanted to commit to something?
Do you say the first thing that comes to mind?
Have you ever regretted what you said to someone?

If you are like me, you are living life on autopilot. In other words, your responses are programmed. When I was discharged from Caron Treatment Center, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center, I found it necessary to change only one thing; that one thing was everything!

That was a tall order! Instead of being overwhelmed, I broke it down into smaller steps. One of the first things I noticed that needed changing was my vocabulary, not only the words I was speaking but also the thoughts in my mind. So I began to remove words that didn’t empower me, such as try, probably, and hard.

Take the word try; it prevents us from committing. When we try to do something, we allow wiggle room. Trying means we aren’t devoting any energy to do something. It also provides us an excuse for why we didn’t achieve the results we wanted, letting ourselves off the hook when we fail.

Try to pick up a pen, glass, or anything for that matter. When you do pick up the object, try is impossible. You have picked it up. There is no try.

THAT’S THE POWER OF THE WORD TRY!

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  • Are you trying to eat healthily —or are you eating healthy?
  • Are you trying to exercise daily—or are you exercising daily?
  • Are you trying to set boundaries by saying no—or are you setting boundaries by saying no?
Do you see the difference? When you hit a pause button, it will be an effort not to say the word try because you’re now dealing with another kind of power. You are going from “not committing” to “committing.” Feel what it feels like to say, “I’ll be over at one o’clock,” instead of, “I’ll try to come over.” It’s a different kind of power.

Nothing changes in a person’s life who uses the word try.  If you want to change, here are three steps you can take:

  1. Eliminate the word try from your vocabulary.
  2. Heed Yoda’s advice and decide to “do or do not.”
  3. Commit fully to the outcome you want.

Another response I encounter from many people who operate on auto-pilot is their reply to my “Thank you.” I almost always hear, “No problem.” No problem? Should it be a problem that you waited on me? That’s your job. But the more critical issue is that you’re sending out negative vibrations to the universe—and me! You re Welcome

Since the universe doesn’t hear a negative, when you say, “No problem,” it hears “problem.” And for me, you can keep that problem; I don’t want it, nor will I accept it. Instead, I ask, “What happened to ‘You’re welcome,’ or ‘My pleasure?‘”

If you’re not creating the abundance you want in life, take a moment and reflect—Am I choosing words that empower me or disempower me?

Choices have consequences. Your choices today will affect the rest of your life. Choose wisely. I GET TO

A great book I highly recommend. It’s called “I Get To,” by Alicia Dunams. It helps you transform your world with words and empower you to harness the power of intentional communication.

 

Schedule your complimentary 15-minute Assessment to begin your journey of empowerment today!

A Prayer for Today

A Prayer for Today

by | Oct 11, 2017 | Blog

light piercing

A prayer I wrote this morning after my silence:

As I enter into myself
I become lost,
Immersed in ecstasy.
I feel a million points
Of light
Piercing love into
My soul.
Is it you, God?
Where are you leading me?
I am lost without you.
I hear your voice calling me.
But to where?
I tumble and fall
But you are there
Catching me in this
Unreal realm,
Putting me back into
Wholeness,
Guiding me from the
Unseen world to the seen,
So I have the strength, courage, and
Love
To hold my Center
In the face of humiliation and
Hatred, and become
Your servant to guide
Others out of their
Darkness
Just as you did for me.
Amen.