There was a time when I couldn’t *not* react. One sideways look, one offhand comment, and I’d spiral—into defensiveness, silence, rage, or shame. I didn’t understand why things affected me so deeply. I just knew I felt out of control, ashamed, and exhausted.
But what I didn’t know then is that those moments… those *triggers*… weren’t signs I was broken. They were *invitations*—whispers from my shadow saying, “It’s time.”
Everything changed the day I stopped reacting long enough to pause.
“You can’t heal what you can’t name. And every pause is a sacred act of self-love.”
You've Got to Name it to Claim it
Before I got sober, I lived in a constant state of emotional reactivity. I didn’t know what regulation felt like. I only knew the storm—the sudden heat of shame, the collapse into silence, the need to defend, escape, or disappear.
When I finally admitted I was being triggered—that something old was rising up in me—I began to heal.
Here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: 💡 You can’t heal what you can’t name.
Most people don’t realize when they’re triggered. They think the problem is the person in front of them. But healing starts when you shift your attention inward and ask:
What am I feeling right now?
Where have I felt this before?
What part of me is being activated?
This is how we name it. This is how we reclaim it.
The Power of the Pause
Let me tell you what happens when you pause instead of reacting: You interrupt the cycle. You give yourself a moment of grace.
Even if it’s just one deep breath—just five seconds of noticing what’s happening—you’ve stepped off the hamster wheel of unconscious survival patterns and stepped into conscious choice.
You don’t have to suppress the feeling. You don’t have to fix it. You just have to feel it… and let it pass through.
And that pause? That’s where the sacred lives.
Don't React. Reconnect.
Pausing isn’t about pretending you’re not upset. It’s about reconnecting to yourself before you abandon her.
When I was deep in my addict archetype, I thought the only way to feel better was to escape the feeling altogether. But now I know my emotions weren’t trying to destroy me—they were trying to lead me home.
When we pause, we make space for the invisible child inside us to whisper what she needs. And we can finally listen.
So the next time something lights a fire in you, try saying:
“I’m noticing that I’m triggered. And that’s okay. I choose to pause. I choose to be here with myself.”
That’s the work. That’s the healing.
Coming soon...
In the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing something special—a calming tool you can use in just 15 minutes to shift from reactivity to clarity. It’s helped me and my clients soften some of life’s most overwhelming moments.
But you don’t need that tool to begin.
All you need right now is this: Notice. Pause. Name it.
Because that one simple step? It changes everything.
Want more tools like this? Stay tuned or book a complimentary Discovery Call to explore your healing path.
Archetypes: How to Identify Them in Yourself and Others
Archetypes are universal patterns of behavior and psychological imprints that shape our personalities, choices, and interactions. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the same destructive relationship dynamic, constantly drawn to certain types of people, or repeating the same patterns in life, you’re likely experiencing the power of archetypes in action.
Caroline Myss, a world-renowned teacher on archetypes and the author of Sacred Contracts, explains that we all embody a set of core archetypes, and our life journey is about recognizing them, working with their light and shadow sides, and ultimately evolving through them.
One archetype that is especially relevant today—both in personal relationships and on the world stage—is The Bully.
The Bully Archetype: Power Through Intimidation
The Bully is one of the most recognizable shadow archetypes because its energy is aggressive, domineering, and often fueled by insecurity. Myss describes the Bully as someone who gains power by controlling, shaming, or intimidating others. But there’s more to this archetype than just physical or verbal aggression—it also operates through psychological and emotional manipulation.
How to Recognize The Bully in Others
The Bully can appear in many forms, from the obvious schoolyard tormentor to the corporate tyrant, the toxic family member, or even political leaders who exploit fear and division. Here are some common signs of the Bully archetype in its shadow form:
Uses fear, humiliation, or control to dominate others
Seeks to maintain power by making others feel small or unworthy
Thrives on creating chaos, blame, and division
Struggles with insecurity masked as arrogance
Resists accountability and deflects responsibility onto others
Gains followers by preying on people’s weaknesses, doubts, or fears
Sound familiar? The Bully archetype is one of the most visible and destructive forces in leadership when left unchecked. We are currently seeing this dynamic play out in the White House, where fear, division, and intimidation are used as political tools rather than true leadership qualities.
How to Recognize The Bully in Yourself
It’s easy to spot the Bully in others, but self-reflection is key. We all have the capacity to fall into shadow behavior, especially when we feel threatened or powerless. The Bully can appear in our personal lives in subtle ways:
Do you find yourself using sarcasm, criticism, or passive-aggression to assert control?
Have you ever belittled someone to make yourself feel more powerful?
Do you use anger or emotional withdrawal as a way to manipulate situations?
Do you resist feedback because you feel attacked rather than supported?
Recognizing this within yourself isn’t about shame—it’s about growth. The Bully, like all archetypes, has a light side too. When transformed, it becomes The Protector—someone who uses strength, courage, and assertiveness to defend the vulnerable, advocate for justice, and stand up for what is right.
Transforming The Bully into The Protector
If you recognize the Bully in yourself or someone close to you, here are ways to shift its energy into a positive force:
Cultivate Self-Awareness – Pay attention to your triggers. When do you lash out? What makes you feel the need to dominate or control?
Own Your Wounds – The Bully archetype often stems from deep insecurity. Healing past wounds can help you move beyond the need for power struggles.
Use Strength for Good – Being powerful isn’t bad—using it destructively is. Channel your assertiveness into protecting others rather than tearing them down.
Speak Up – If you see bullying behavior in others, challenge it. Silence enables the shadow side of this archetype to thrive.
Empower Instead of Intimidate – True leadership uplifts rather than oppresses. Shift from controlling others to inspiring them.
Archetypes as a Mirror
The Bully, like all archetypes, serves as a mirror. If we see it clearly in others, it is our responsibility to recognize how it affects our own lives. Whether we embody it, enable it, or stand against it, this archetype offers an opportunity for profound self-awareness and transformation.
In today’s world, where the Bully archetype is on full display in politics, leadership, and social dynamics, the question remains: Do we accept this as the norm, or do we demand something greater?
If you’re curious about how archetypes shape your life and relationships, I invite you to explore them deeper. Understanding your core archetypes can unlock powerful insights into your patterns, strengths, and challenges.
Want to dive deeper into your archetypes?
Book a complimentary Discovery call with me to start uncovering the hidden forces that influence your life.
Download the PDF “Questions to Identify Your Archetypes,”here.
The Wounded Child: Healing the Pain That Still Echoes
Healing your wounded inner child is a powerful journey of self-awareness and emotional growth. If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, Transformative Coaching can provide the tools and guidance to help you release past pain and step into a more empowered, authentic self.
Throughout our lives, we carry echoes of our past, some more painful than others. The Wounded Child archetype is one of the most powerful influences on our self-worth, relationships, and how we navigate the world. It holds the scars of our childhood experiences—betrayal, abandonment, unworthiness, and unresolved pain. But healing the Wounded Child is possible, and in doing so, we reclaim the light that has always been within us.
Recognizing the Wounded Child Within
The Wounded Child can manifest in many ways. You might find yourself easily triggered, hypersensitive to criticism, or overwhelmed by feelings of unworthiness. Before I got sober, I took everything personally. If someone looked at me the wrong way, I would cry. I had no self-esteem, and even well-intentioned feedback shattered me. Every negative comment was a direct attack, reinforcing my deeply rooted belief that I was not enough.
This wound didn’t just appear—my experiences shaped it. Growing up, I witnessed deceit within my family, mainly from my father. That betrayal left a deep mark, making it difficult to trust others. The Wounded Child in me longed for safety and validation but often sought it in the wrong places—through people-pleasing, perfectionism, or numbing my pain through addiction.
A Defining Moment: Seeing the Masks Fall Away
One of the most profound moments in my healing journey happened during a psychodrama session in rehab. Earlier that day, during meditation, I saw faces wearing masks—comedy and tragedy—slowly melting away, revealing their true essence.
Two hours later, that vision came to life. A woman played me as a little girl, and I symbolically taped tissues to her face, each representing the masks I wore to survive: the Caretaker, the People Pleaser, the Good Girl, the Smart One. One by one, I removed them, revealing what lay beneath.
At that moment, an electric charge ran through me. The therapist, unaware of my vision, told me I had just experienced a true spiritual awakening. I knew I would never wear another mask again because I, and God, knew the truth—and that was all that mattered. The Wounded Child in me had been seen, acknowledged, and, most importantly, freed.
The Path to Healing the Wounded Child
Healing does not happen overnight. It requires courage, awareness, and deep inner work. Here are some of the steps that helped me, and they may help you too:
1. Rescuing and Reparenting the Inner Child
Rescuing the Inner Child is one of the most powerful modalities I use in my coaching. This process helps reconnect with the wounded parts of ourselves that were abandoned, shamed, or unheard. Through visualization and deep emotional work, we can retrieve the lost child within us and offer them the love and support they never received.
Reparenting is an essential part of this process. Your Wounded Child needs what it never received—love, validation, and safety. One of my most healing exercises was speaking to my younger self with compassion. I would close my eyes, picture her, and tell her, “I see you. You are loved. You are enough.” Reparenting means giving yourself what you always needed: kindness, protection, or understanding.
I have used this process to bring my younger self the safety and validation she longed for, and it has been truly transformative. By rescuing and reparenting the Inner Child, we heal the wounds that have shaped our lives and move forward with newfound strength and self-acceptance.
2. Identifying and Releasing Limiting Beliefs
The beliefs we formed as children often shape our reality as adults. Through belief-clearing techniques, I uncovered deeply ingrained thoughts such as, “I am not worthy” or “I will always be abandoned.” I began to transform when I challenged these beliefs and replaced them with truths that aligned with my healing.
3. Learning to Let Go and Trust
One of the hardest yet most freeing lessons was learning to surrender. My true moment of surrender came after I passed out and left my dogs alone all day and night. That was my rock bottom—the moment I saw clearly that I had lost control. But that moment was also a gift. It was an invitation to let go of my Wounded Child’s need to control everything and instead trust that healing was possible.
Reflection: A Journey Back to Wholeness
Healing the Wounded Child is not about erasing the past but embracing it with love and understanding. Looking back, I see the strength in that little girl who endured so much. She was never broken—just waiting to be held, acknowledged, and loved unconditionally.
Take a moment to reflect:
Where does your Wounded Child still show up in your life?
How does it shape your relationships, your fears, and your self-worth?
What would happen if you spoke to your inner child today, not with judgment, but with love?
Healing begins with awareness, deepens with self-compassion, and transforms with surrender. The journey is not easy, but I promise—it is worth it. Because on the other side of pain is freedom, and within you is a light waiting to shine all along.
Healing your wounded inner child is not a journey you have to take alone. If you’re seeking deeper self-discovery and emotional transformation, Transformative Coaching can help you reconnect with your true self and move forward with confidence and clarity.
Are you ready to take the first step toward healing your Wounded Child? If this resonates with you, let’s connect. Book a complimentary Discovery Calland begin your journey toward healing and transformation today.
Everything in the universe is energy, including your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. When you focus on raising your vibration, you elevate your energy frequency, allowing you to attract more positivity, peace, and joy into your life. If you’re seeking deeper self-growth, Transformative Coaching can help you clear emotional blocks and shift into a higher state of being.
In times of political chaos and uncertainty, when the news is filled with decisions that strip away democracy or threaten the things we value, it’s natural to feel fear, anxiety, or anger. But while we can’t control the external world, we have power over how we respond.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know you’re not alone and don’t have to stay stuck in this energy. Today, I’ll share practical steps to help you protect your energy, shift away from fear, and raise your vibration.
What Does Raising Your Vibration Mean?
Your vibration is the frequency at which you operate emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Low vibrations are associated with fear, anger, and negativity, while high vibrations align with love, joy, and peace. The good news? You have the power to shift your energy by intentionally practicing habits that support raising your vibration every day.
Signs of Low Vibration vs. High Vibration
💔 Low Vibration Signs:
Feeling stuck, drained, or overwhelmed
Experiencing frequent negative emotions like fear, frustration, or sadness
Engaging in self-doubt or self-criticism
Being surrounded by toxic relationships or environments
💖 High Vibration Signs:
Feeling light, joyful, and inspired
Having deep gratitude and appreciation for life
Experiencing synchronicities and a sense of flow
Attracting positive relationships and opportunities
The key to raising your vibration is to bring more awareness to your thoughts, emotions, and habits—choosing to shift toward positivity whenever possible.
5 Powerful Ways to Start Raising Your Vibration
If you’re ready to raise your frequency and align with higher energy, here are five simple but powerful practices:
The 24-hour news cycle is designed to keep us hooked, often leaving us feeling drained, angry, or helpless. But here’s the truth: you don’t need constant updates to stay informed.
Instead, choose when and how to consume news in a way that protects your peace. Set specific times to check updates, and then shift your focus to more productive and positive things.
Here’s what works for me: I limit my news intake to 15 minutes in the morning and avoid checking it before bed. This small change alone has helped me feel more grounded and present in my daily life.
Reflect on this: Could you limit your news intake and notice how it affects your mental and emotional state?
2. Create a Grounding Routine
When the world feels chaotic, creating a personal routine that grounds you in the present moment is crucial. Grounding practices help you stay connected to what’s real—your breath, your body, and your inner calm.
I find zen coloring to be magical. As I focus on each stroke of color, I feel my mind calm, and my vibration lift. Find what works for you, whether it’s a morning meditation or an evening journaling session.
Try this: Take 5 minutes today to breathe deeply, close your eyes, and ground yourself in the present moment.
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive, Like-Minded People
In difficult times, surrounding yourself with negativity can quickly pull you down. That’s why being intentional about who you spend time with is essential. Seek out people who lift you up and remind you of the bigger picture.
Join supportive communities, connect with friends who inspire you, and avoid conversations that leave you feeling depleted. There’s power in sharing hope; like-minded people can help you remember that you’re not facing this alone.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, a conversation with someone who shares my vision instantly shifts my mood. They remind me to focus on what I can control and let go of the rest.
Could you reach out to someone today who brings light into your life?
4. Refocus on Your Vision and Goals
Fear thrives in uncertainty. But when you’re anchored in your vision, fear loses its grip. No matter what’s happening around you, your goals remind you that you have something meaningful to work toward.
What you focus on grows. So, focus on what you want to create instead of what you fear. Break down your goals into small, manageable steps, and celebrate each bit of progress.
This means reminding myself daily of why I do what I do. I visualize my vision and let that carry me through moments of doubt. When everything around you feels uncertain, your purpose will guide you.
What small step toward your vision can you take today?
5. Raise Your Vibration through Gratitude and Joy
Fear and anger can lower your vibration, leaving you in a negative cycle. To break free, turn to the power of gratitude and joy. When you shift your attention to what’s good, you create more of it.
Start with a simple practice:
List three things you’re grateful for each morning.
Listen to uplifting music.
Engage in a hobby that brings you joy—whether it’s dancing, painting, or gardening.
For me, it’s music and gratitude journaling. I write down three things I’m thankful for every morning, and I notice how it changes my perspective. It’s a small practice, but its impact is enormous.
Today, take a moment to think of something you’re grateful for and let that feeling fill your heart.
Reflect on This:
What is one action you can take right now to shift your energy away from fear and focus on your vision and peace?
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or frustrated. But you can protect your energy and choose how you respond. Even in the darkest moments, you can ground yourself, raise your vibration, and focus on your inner light.
The world needs your light more than ever. So breathe, ground yourself, and remember—you are not powerless.
The Power of Raising Your Vibration
When you focus on raising your vibration, you align yourself with higher energy, allowing more peace, joy, and abundance to flow into your life.
If you’re ready to take this journey deeper, Transformative Coaching can help you remove blocks, shift your mindset, and fully step into your highest potential.
💡 Now is the perfect time to raise your vibration and step into a more aligned, empowered version of yourself!
For more profound guidance and support, schedule a complimentary Discovery Call. Let’s keep building resilience together.
Raising Your Vibration During Uncertain Times
In times of political chaos and uncertainty, when the news is filled with decisions that strip away democracy or threaten the things we value, it’s natural to feel fear, anxiety, or anger. But while we can’t control the external world, we have power over how we respond.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know you’re not alone and don’t have to stay stuck in this energy. Today, I’ll share practical steps to help you protect your energy, shift away from fear, and raise your vibration.
The 24-hour news cycle is designed to keep us hooked, often leaving us feeling drained, angry, or helpless. But here’s the truth: you don’t need constant updates to stay informed.
Instead, choose when and how to consume news in a way that protects your peace. Set specific times to check updates, and then shift your focus to more productive and positive things.
Here’s what works for me:
I limit my news intake to 15 minutes in the morning and avoid checking it before bed. This small change alone has helped me feel more grounded and present in my daily life.
Reflect on this: Could you limit your news intake and notice how it affects your mental and emotional state?
2. Create a Grounding Routine
When the world feels chaotic, creating a personal routine that grounds you in the present moment is crucial. Grounding practices help you stay connected to what’s real—your breath, your body, and your inner calm.
I find zen coloring to be magical. As I focus on each stroke of color, I feel my mind calm, and my vibration lift. Find what works for you, whether it’s a morning meditation or an evening journaling session.
Try this: Take 5 minutes today to breathe deeply, close your eyes, and ground yourself in the present moment.
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive, Like-Minded People
In difficult times, surrounding yourself with negativity can quickly pull you down. That’s why being intentional about who you spend time with is essential. Seek out people who lift you up and remind you of the bigger picture.
Join supportive communities, connect with friends who inspire you, and avoid conversations that leave you feeling depleted. There’s power in sharing hope; like-minded people can help you remember that you’re not facing this alone.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, a conversation with someone who shares my vision instantly shifts my mood. They remind me to focus on what I can control and let go of the rest.
Could you reach out to someone today who brings light into your life?
4. Refocus on Your Vision and Goals
Fear thrives in uncertainty. But when you’re anchored in your vision, fear loses its grip. No matter what’s happening around you, your goals remind you that you have something meaningful to work toward.
What you focus on grows. So, focus on what you want to create instead of what you fear. Break down your goals into small, manageable steps, and celebrate each bit of progress.
This means reminding myself daily of why I do what I do. I visualize my vision and let that carry me through moments of doubt. When everything around you feels uncertain, your purpose will guide you.
What small step toward your vision can you take today?
5. Raise Your Vibration through Gratitude and Joy
Fear and anger can lower your vibration, leaving you in a negative cycle. To break free, turn to the power of gratitude and joy. When you shift your attention to what’s good, you create more of it.
Start with a simple practice:
List three things you’re grateful for each morning.
Listen to uplifting music.
Engage in a hobby that brings you joy—whether it’s dancing, painting, or gardening.
For me, it’s music and gratitude journaling. I write down three things I’m thankful for every morning, and I notice how it changes my perspective. It’s a small practice, but its impact is enormous.
Today, take a moment to think of something you’re grateful for and let that feeling fill your heart.
Reflect on This:
What is one action you can take right now to shift your energy away from fear and focus on your vision and peace?
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or frustrated. But you can protect your energy and choose how you respond. Even in the darkest moments, you can ground yourself, raise your vibration, and focus on your inner light.
The world needs your light more than ever. So breathe, ground yourself, and remember—you are not powerless.
For more profound guidance and support, schedule a complimentary Discovery Call. Let’s keep building resilience together.
Discovering Ikigai: A Journey to Your Purpose, Part 4
In Part 1 we began by exploring the Ikigai meaning in your life. Part 2 showed how to use the Ikigai diagram to discover what you’re good at and Part 3 focused on using the Ikigai Venn diagram as guidance on “What the World Needs.” In this final step of the Ikigai journey, we explore the fourth and often most practical element of the Ikigai concept: What Can You Get Paid For?
Remember, the Ikigai concept is a Japanese philosophy that signifies “a reason for being.”It represents the intersection where your passions, talents, societal needs, and financial viability converge, leading to a fulfilling and purposeful life.
But finding your Ikigai isn’t just about passion, skills, and impact—it’s about turning those into a sustainable livelihood. This post on the Ikigai concept will help you identify how your purpose can align with financial abundance.
Understanding the Ikigai Concept
The Ikigai concept is a Japanese philosophy that signifies “a reason for being.”It represents the intersection where your passions, talents, societal needs, and financial viability converge, leading to a fulfilling and purposeful life.
The Role of “What You Can Be Paid For” in the Ikigai Concept
Identifying “What You Can Be Paid For” is crucial in the Ikigai concept as it ensures that your passions and skills are sustainable and valued in the marketplace.This element transforms your purpose into a viable profession, aligning your personal fulfillment with economic reality.
At the heart of this element lies a question: What value can you provide to others for whom they are willing to compensate you? It’s not about chasing money for the sake of it but creating a meaningful exchange where your purpose supports others—and they, in turn, help you.
For me, the answer is clear: I can get paid to inspire, guide, and help others step into their light. It’s not an easy path but the most rewarding one. Helping others shine their light and live their highest purpose while feeling happy, joyous, and free is one of the greatest blessings in my life.
Reflective Questions to Identify Your Earning Potential
To align your purpose with what you can get paid for, the Ikigai concept focuses on the following questions:
What unique value do you offer that people consistently appreciate or seek out?
How do your skills, passions, and impact translate into a product, service, or opportunity others need?
What problems can you help solve that people are willing to invest in fixing?
Have you explored ways to monetize your passions, such as teaching, coaching, or creating?
Is there a gap in the market that you can fill with your unique abilities?
Reflecting on these questions can help you identify opportunities where your purpose aligns with financial compensation.
Integrating “What You Can Be Paid For” into Your Ikigai
Aligning your passions and skills with market needs ensures that your purpose is both fulfilling and sustainable.For instance, if you excel in writing and have a passion for storytelling, you might explore careers in content creation, journalism, or authoring books.This alignment allows you to do what you love while meeting financial needs.
My Insights
I have discovered many ways to align my Ikigai with financial rewards:
Coaching: Helping people live their truth and heal has become a cornerstone of my work—and a way to sustain my purpose.
Speaking: As an inspirational speaker, I can share stories and lessons that help others find the courage to embrace their light.
Guiding Others: Whether through coaching programs, workshops, or courses, I help people walk their healing paths toward their highest purpose.
But these aren’t just ways to earn money—they’re also extensions of my mission to inspire transformation and joy.
Practical Exercise to Identify “What You Can Get Paid For”
Here’s an actionable exercise to help you connect your purpose to earning opportunities:
Make a Value List:
Write down the skills and passions you enjoy most (from the first two Ikigai elements).
Identify which of these provide value to others.
Research Opportunities:
Explore industries, niches, or markets where your passions align with demand.
Talk to Your Audience:
Ask potential clients or peers what they would invest in that aligns with your skills or passions.
Brainstorm Monetization Ideas:
Consider ways to turn your offerings into products, services, or experiences.
Take Action:
Choose one idea and start experimenting, even on a small scale.
Understanding the Ikigai concept involves harmonizing your passions, talents, societal contributions, and financial opportunities.By focusing on “What You Can Be Paid For”, you ensure that your purpose is not only personally fulfilling but also economically viable.
For personalized guidance on aligning your purpose with a sustainable career, consider exploring our Transformative Coaching program.At Go Within Spiritual Coaching, we are dedicated to helping individuals discover and live their true purpose. For personal direction and help with identifying and integrating your Ikigai, schedule your complimentary 1-hour Discovery call.
As this series ends, I hope you’ve gained the clarity and tools to embark on your journey to Ikigai. Thank you for being part of this exploration of purpose and meaning.
