Walk Through Your Fear and Step Into Your Confident Self
How often have you been confronted with a challenge to grow but lacked the confidence to walk through your fear?
For me, there have been far too many times when I stunted my development and lost power by making choices that sabotaged it. I lacked the confidence to go out and share what I have learned over the past twenty-plus years. Sure, I wrote a book about all the lessons I learned, but to go out and promote it? No, I can’t do that because I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me. Give a talk or a speech in front of more than two people? Uh-huh. No-can-do. What if I messed up? Then what? How about doing a live stream or recording a video to post? Are you nuts? What if I make a mistake? People will think I’m stupid, and I can’t let that happen.
They were my thoughts and feelings when I tried to do things but couldn’t.
And then I discovered why.
It all boiled down to a defining moment in my young life. Growing up, I was a force to be reckoned with; I was a tomboy and needed to be seen. I was also very competitive, so when I was 12 years old, I tried out for and won the lead role in our class play. Everything was great. I played the part beautifully for our school and the A. I. DuPont Children’s Hospital. But when it came time for the CYO competition, I failed miserably. by flubbing my lines after my father took a flash Polaroid photo of me. I was humiliated!
At the time, I didn’t realize that failure and humiliation had been the catalyst for my lifelong lack of confidence.
That fear blocked me from being the person I wanted and knew I could be. Instead of directing my life myself, the fear of being humiliated was the driving force. My confidence was shattered, and the need to be perfect was the justification I needed not to move forward.
Are there times when you feel like that, too? If yes, know that you, too, can walk through your fear and step into your confident self.
Here are some ways that you can do that:
Identify and Learn About It
What are you afraid of? Is it humiliation, like me? Or is it something else, like rejection, making a mistake, or failing? The only way to begin to walk through your fear is to know what it is and face it. What are your trigger signs? Do you get a tightness in your chest? Does your heart race? Does your stomach church? When you can identify a fear pattern and learn the cause, you can lean into it and find a walk to counter it.
Use Your Imagination and Visualize a Positive Outcome
You already imagine the worst possible scenario when you fear something, so why not imagine having a positive result instead? Bring an image to mind of what you want to do that you’re afraid of doing now, and visualize yourself taking every step necessary to complete it. For example, I imagine myself at an event with an audience of over one thousand. I then visualize myself walking out onto the stage, microphone in hand, and giving a great Ted Talk or some other presentation. Your mind does not know the difference between visualizing and actually doing it.
Consider It and then Believe It
When you’re about to make that move into the unknown, allow yourself to consider the worst-case scenario. What is the worst thing that can happen? Will you lose your job? It’s not likely. Will you lose your family or home? I don’t think you will. Will you die? Definitely not! Maybe you won’t do as well as you thought. Ok, I’ll do better next time. Maybe people will laugh at me. And? Have you never been laughed at before? Next time, I’ll show them! Once you’ve decided you’ll survive the worst thing that can happen, believe you can do it! Because you can! Walt Disney was right when he said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
Start by making small steps into small fears and gradually build them into more significant actions. Eventually, you’ll be able to walk through all your fears and step into your confident self!
Schedule a complimentary Discovery call with me today to start creating your map to Reclaim Your Confidence Self.
