The Judge Saboteur: A Hidden Enemy Within
As I continue my self-discovery and personal growth journey, I’ve encountered a formidable adversary within myself through the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) Program—the Judge. This inner critic, lurking in the shadows, has been a constant obstacle on my path to positivity and fulfillment. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experience of understanding the Judge as I learned from PQ PQ®—the description, characteristics, thoughts, feelings, justification lies, and the impact it has had on my life.
Description of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is that persistent voice inside me, always ready to find faults and weaknesses in myself, others, and circumstances. It resides in my subconscious, seemingly waiting for the perfect moment to undermine my confidence. The Judge is the cause of disappointment, anger, regret, and more, and it thrives on negativity, making it challenging to break free from its grip.
Characteristics of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
I’ve noticed some distinct traits of the Judge that have affected me deeply:
- Self: No matter how well I perform, the Judge badgers me for past mistakes or current shortcomings, leaving me feeling inadequate and demoralized.
- Others: The Judge focuses on what is wrong with other people rather than appreciating them. It goes into inferior and superior comparisons.
- Circumstances: No matter the circumstance or outcome, the Judge insists it is “bad” rather than seeing it as a gift or opportunity.
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Thoughts and Feelings Associated with the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The thoughts and feelings arising from the Judge’s constant criticism have been emotionally draining:
- What is wrong with me?
- What is wrong with you?
- What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?
- All my guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment are from the Judge.
- Much of my anger and anxiety are instigated by the
Justification Lies of the Judge in Positive Intelligence®
The Judge is skilled at justifying its negativity through cunning lies:
- “Being realistic“: It disguises pessimism as realism, making me believe its judgments are objective assessments.
- “Constant improvement“: While growth is essential, the Judge takes it to an extreme, making me feel like I can never be good enough as I am.
- “Fear of others’ judgment“: This Judge preys on my fear of criticism, pushing me towards an unattainable ideal to avoid others’ disapproval.
Impact on Myself and Others
The influence of the Judge extends beyond my inner world, affecting my relationships and interactions with others:
- Negativity and toxicity: Constantly battling my inner critic has sometimes made me less understanding and supportive of others, inadvertently creating a hostile atmosphere.
- Comparison and envy: The comparative nature of the Judge has led me to envy others’ achievements instead of genuinely celebrating their success.
- Difficulty forming connections: Struggling with self-judgment has sometimes made creating authentic connections with others challenging.
My encounter with the Judge in Positive Intelligence® has been a challenging but eye-opening journey. Recognizing its characteristics, thoughts, and impact on myself and others empowered me to confront it. Through the Positive Intelligence® Program and self-compassion, I’m learning to challenge the Judge’s authority and embrace self-acceptance. While overcoming this inner critic is ongoing, I’m committed to progressing one step at a time. Embracing my imperfections and cultivating a healthier mindset, I aim to emerge stronger and kinder to myself and those around me.
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Remember, every day is an opportunity to grow and thrive, and with PQ®, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to make the most of each precious moment. Here’s to a life filled with positivity, joy, and a healthier relationship with yourself and others!
